Article: On “Choice” Feminism and Internalized Misogyny

I was looking for something else and this is….. something. I don’t even.


Internalized misogyny is the “involuntary internalization by women of the sexist messages that are present in their societies and culture.”

Basically, that means that we hold misogynistic ideas ourselves, even though we are women. It’s involuntary….

For example, think about the ways in which men and women sit differently in Western society. Just take a look around you and observe on a train, in a doctor’s office, or even a restaurant, if you can’t think of any differences.

You’ll probably notice that men tend to sit widely, with their legs open, and women tend to sit with their legs crossed or together.

Why is this? Obviously women aren’t born with the instinct to sit with their legs together, nor are men born with the instinct to sit with their legs apart. It’s socialization.

The ways in which we sit are gendered (like pretty much everything else that we do) and is something we learn through observation, or perhaps even direct education. Have you ever had someone tell you to “sit like a lady?” That’s socialization.

cracking up dawn french

Here’s something else to consider: Are things like this really a choice?

Or are they, in fact, often a consequence of oppression?

I think this is how they ‘rationalize’ all women as feminists. They literally think disagreement makes them correct.

On  a long story about the torturous decision to keep shaving her legs;

But it’s not just the misogyny of society at work in this decision. It’s also my own internalized misogyny.

+1 Victim point.

So no, simply making a choice is not a feminist act. But more importantly, in reality, these weren’t even real, honest choices to begin with.

You mean, you have no agency. You are not a human with a series of decisions to make about your life.  That would make you less than an intelligent species, for this to be true, you’d be subhuman.

Women don’t actually have a lot of choices that don’t come with social consequences.

This is why the argument of choice feminism crumbles: because it often doesn’t actually involve choices.

…Since not all choices are feminist, and not all “choices” are actually choices, being a feminist doesn’t stop you from doing things that are anti-feminist.

…Feminists do anti-feminists things all the time.

But the point is: That’s okay.

I describe you, you hate me. Really, you hate yourself and everyone knows it.


So yes, you’re probably going to do anti-feminist things. But that doesn’t have anything to do with you’re worth as a person, or a feminist.

It ends;

Society is who’s at fault, not you.

They're so stupid it's a laughriot

I also found this personal tale of offense at

Back at the party. “I am not a feminist.” After this calm, totally genuine admission from this woman I went on what can only be politely described as a tirade. Pummeling with facts and figures, trying to convince her that she was wrong, that she was mistaken, that she just didn’t understand what feminism was. Slowly as I began to tire and my face melted from determination to utter disbelief, hers hardened in quiet confidence that she had just been proven right. That we feminists were all the same. Shouty, elitist and actually a little bit mean. Men haters and blamers, women victimisers and blamers. I pawed at her with words, desperately trying to persuade her she most definitely was a feminist because (here comes my moment of glory) “you’re a woman, how could you not be?” Ugh. She got up and walked away and on reflection I would probably have done the same. What an epic fail.

I am crying.

8 responses to “Article: On “Choice” Feminism and Internalized Misogyny

  1. Reblogged this on A Life Un-Lived and commented:
    Here’s a question, and honestly, I’m not trolling. Answer, ignore, delete, whatever.

    If feminism appears to be the mode civilization takes when men relinquish sole control of society and permit women equal opportunity, and we conclude feminism destroys civilizations, then do we also conclude that women, at the aggregate, aren’t equipped with qualities required to support civilization?

    I say this because the feminist arguments are slowly eroding my opinion that women are competent members of society deserving respect, even for any particular individual woman.

  2. ” It’s socialization.”

    I noticed they always try to explain every gender difference in terms of socialization. And yes, social norms affect us in all sorts of ways, but they are not static. You’d think feminist socialization had some major influence in women’s lives nowadays, but nah, Victorian norms are what we’re still victims of.

    “Women don’t actually have a lot of choices that don’t come with social consequences.”

    But don’t we all have to meet social consequences when making social choices? We’re humans, we’re social animals. We judge and are judged. But on the other hand, many things we do is something no one really cares about, as they are too busy doing their own thing 🙂

  3. I’m sorry, the feminists are right. It’s not that she doesn’t have agency, it is that she doesn’t feel like she has agency. This is how rape happens. In each interaction, she simply remains passive, reacting the least confrontational way the situation allows. She isn’t choosing, she is merely reacting.

    Men project their will and cognition onto women. This is why “consent” is so controversial, in a world where men are stronger and more violent than women, no woman can truly give consent because she has been socialized to do so and always with the implied threat of violence.

    The traditional solution was to assign all woman a guardian: father, brother, or husband, who is in charge of her personal safety and consents for her, as when her father “gives away the bride.” Her guardian is responsible for the consequences of the choices her makes for her.

    When you read these women explaining their feelings about society, violence against women, consent, expectations and the like, you have to empathize with what they are actually experiencing and the specific aspects that cause them to feel distress.

    Women don’t actually have a lot of choices that don’t come with social consequences.

    Men have imputed to women “responsibility” for their choices. She is rightly saying that being held responsible for the social consequences of her choices negates the choice itself, because you are really choosing the best consequence. Since you can’t pick the worst consequence, there is no meaningful choice. Where is the free will in that?

    Men forced these choices on women because men assumed that women’s cognition and will matched our own. Short-sighted.

    All it takes is a bit of empathy. You know how Feminist Progressives love Islam, even thought it’s completely misogynistic, patriarchal, and sexist? It’s because Islam doesn’t force choices on women then expect women to suffer the consequences of those choices when it wasn’t really a choice at all.

    When White men remove this burden of choice and responsibility they have dumped onto women, they will no longer be looking to the next field thinking the grass is greener.

    *takes a bow*

    • *applause* I completely get where you’re coming from, but she is a dimwit.
      She pretends to speak for all women. I find it funny her mind is rationalizing poor actions like a sinner in church.
      I find it funny too because they are so clear and active in their agency when it comes to win-win situations, and if they were so high-minded as they play, they’d be as brave as Emmeline Pankhurst, who died near where I used to live for what she believed in. By comparison, these little girls who pretend to stand for women’s rights deserve Islam, because they clearly wanted to be ordered around by men as an excuse to be failures as intelligent creatures.

1. Be civil. 2. Be logical or fair. 3. Do not bore me.

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