I was looking for something else and this is….. something. I don’t even.
Basically, that means that we hold misogynistic ideas ourselves, even though we are women. It’s involuntary….
For example, think about the ways in which men and women sit differently in Western society. Just take a look around you and observe on a train, in a doctor’s office, or even a restaurant, if you can’t think of any differences.
You’ll probably notice that men tend to sit widely, with their legs open, and women tend to sit with their legs crossed or together.
Why is this? Obviously women aren’t born with the instinct to sit with their legs together, nor are men born with the instinct to sit with their legs apart. It’s socialization.
The ways in which we sit are gendered (like pretty much everything else that we do) and is something we learn through observation, or perhaps even direct education. Have you ever had someone tell you to “sit like a lady?” That’s socialization.
Here’s something else to consider: Are things like this really a choice?
Or are they, in fact, often a consequence of oppression?
I think this is how they ‘rationalize’ all women as feminists. They literally think disagreement makes them correct.
On a long story about the torturous decision to keep shaving her legs;
But it’s not just the misogyny of society at work in this decision. It’s also my own internalized misogyny.
+1 Victim point.
So no, simply making a choice is not a feminist act. But more importantly, in reality, these weren’t even real, honest choices to begin with.
Women don’t actually have a lot of choices that don’t come with social consequences.
This is why the argument of choice feminism crumbles: because it often doesn’t actually involve choices.
…Since not all choices are feminist, and not all “choices” are actually choices, being a feminist doesn’t stop you from doing things that are anti-feminist.
…Feminists do anti-feminists things all the time.
But the point is: That’s okay.
EVERY CHOICE HAS ITS CONSEQUENCES.
THIS MAKES THEM CHOICES.
YOU WEIGH THE CONSEQUENCES AND CHOOSE.
So yes, you’re probably going to do anti-feminist things. But that doesn’t have anything to do with you’re worth as a person, or a feminist.
Society is who’s at fault, not you.
I also found this personal tale of offense at http://vagendamagazine.com/2014/07/how-not-to-react-to-anti-feminist-women/
Back at the party. “I am not a feminist.” After this calm, totally genuine admission from this woman I went on what can only be politely described as a tirade. Pummeling with facts and figures, trying to convince her that she was wrong, that she was mistaken, that she just didn’t understand what feminism was. Slowly as I began to tire and my face melted from determination to utter disbelief, hers hardened in quiet confidence that she had just been proven right. That we feminists were all the same. Shouty, elitist and actually a little bit mean. Men haters and blamers, women victimisers and blamers. I pawed at her with words, desperately trying to persuade her she most definitely was a feminist because (here comes my moment of glory) “you’re a woman, how could you not be?” Ugh. She got up and walked away and on reflection I would probably have done the same. What an epic fail.
I am crying.