This is exactly what they do, I’ve found recording their lies and inconsistences to be especially helpful. I have a particular distaste to the religious examples, but it does befit the CHINO.
For example, narcissists always project to me that I am;
- arrogant – when I’m among the most humble people you could ever meet, I don’t think I’m that important at all
- mean – when I’m trying to give them advice to make them happy after being very patient or simply stick in my position on a topic and refuse to “see their (wrong) side” aka fold and agree obsequiously for their ego
- and the best of all, stupid, and they pretend to mock me – when I disprove their vapid points on every count and everyone else is, in fact, laughing at them.
It’s one of the best ways you can tell you are truly intelligent, because a stupid narcissist will always think everyone else has the accusation of stupidity as their greatest weakness as well. They will state the opposite of the truth, making up character flaws, trying to cause doubt which develops into a neurotic complex (if you believe the best thing about you is the worst you will believe anything else they tell you), perhaps a condition they fuel up to suicide (why they say “please kill yourself”). They’ll bitch about you behind your back, but that’s a sign you’re doing something right, as they wouldn’t dare confront you to your face, like an adult.
I know I am not any of those things because super-empaths, Nature’s mirrors, really like me, they find me chill and serene (unlike the narcissists, who sometimes try and call me angry, piping-hot with rage, when I’m more, at most, like irritated at a buzzing fly in my face).
It’s difficult to take those people seriously when you’ve been told by some expert authority figures (many in psychiatry) how one is the complete and total opposite of these flawed, pathetic creatures, and how refreshing that is. “Too honest” is my fave. As if that’s a real thing.
Think of it from their perspective.
They want to be positive things A, B and C. Desperately. Their whole life has been leading up to it.
They come across someone who is A and it irks them. They make snide putdowns about how being A is “fake” behind their back. Fake nice to their face.
They come across someone who is both A and B. This angers them and they try to bring this person down to their level of misery by turning their greatest strength against them – you’re not *really* AB, they’ll say, you’re the opposite, the universally hated XY, and you should feel guilty and hate yourself for being those things.
They come across someone AB and C. Rage fires on all cylinders. This person must be destroyed, or if not, cast from even their peripheral vision (i.e. urgh, I’m trying to forget <person> exists). They become bitter, vindictive, spiteful, and if this is responded to accordingly by the victim, yes, they are a real victim to this damaging monster, it should show up to their friends as an alarming lashing out. The narcissist will blame the victim, of course, it was their fault. They are normally the opposite (a sort of reverse projection again to look saintly). If the friends help purge the evil influence, which makes them act in a way that scares their friends, they won’t be angry anymore and need to take it out on anyone (including, the friends who refuse, implicitly). This causes monstering. “Nobody likes you”, “The world is a terrible place with you in it”, and “kill yourself” are all the things they believe about themselves. They have no logic behind them, unless it’s twisted beyond recognition.
If you happened on this page because one of these is after you, you have my sympathy.
You are the Victim. You can’t handle them. You must kick them out of your life, which revokes their power to ruin yours. When you’ve made it clear it’s over, they will expect you to crawl back (they’re narcissists) over the broken glass they made with your own pain. If you still have friends in common, the best revenge is to let those friends know how happy you are, since the narcissist will fish for this information.