Okay, that is pretty accurate. There are more I can think of but I won’t derail.
I am surprised. I did not expect things that have been quantified e.g. interruptions in speaking studies, although men do speak as much by volume as women.
I think I can condense it down to two things.
First, they are usually treated as individuals rather than representatives of their sex.
Secondly, their comfort level is usually a default, so they don’t even notice it e.g. usually it’s a man in charge, so odds are he’ll also be heterosexual and therefore not creepily hit on you because you need his help. They don’t notice these things because, being men, they aren’t placed in those situations. It isn’t their fault when they’re naive to these things, as we’re naive to some of their insights. Fish in water problem. I wouldn’t call those privileges except for where they directly benefit at the expense of women for no other reason than birth (anti-meritocratic, sexual nepotism). However, to ignore that fact that Bad Things Happen in the world isn’t an excuse, and to deny them on any grounds inhumane. We founded society for the continual betterment of its inhabitants, that requires listening as much as we talk.
The ones about children irritate me because they’re based on received wisdom aka wrong but antique BS. Children require a nuclear family, minimum, to thrive best. An extended family is ideal but impractical. Both parents need to be involved and co-parenting isn’t feminist (that would be arguing children only need their mothers, against the evidence). It’s common sense that both sexes bring different traits to the table their child needs to benefit from, to say nothing of the two sexes OF child and the range of bonding required between the same-sex parent and the opposite sex through the stages of development. How can we build stable families in the West if we don’t work together? First, this requires communication, and that is two-thirds listening and one-third e-prime (not blaming, based on perceptions) e.g. I feel you are, You seem to be etc. Conflict resolution rather than escalation. Plenty of people nowadays cannot debate, certainly, but they cannot argue in their personal lives either. If you’re still angry, pick a violent hobby. Boxing is always popular.
Can I make the easy joke that the man was the better feminist?
I don’t see why a study of human differences has to be considered ‘feminist’ when really it’s actually a subject called BIOLOGY. If you want to be precise, much of this would come under social psychology and forensics.
It’s weird to see men, who usually go around spouting off on how different the sexes are, suddenly deny it whenever the feminists rarely admit it. Guys. They are by definition different.
These may not be sex differences a la HBD but that makes them no less valid. Social phenomena are important, from crime all the way to how people treat one another in a professional (supposedly non-personal) setting.
Fathers used to have a tendency to goof off in the upper class because they hired a retinue of staff to take their place. Not just women but also various men to teach and train their children, the tutor being the classic example. And no, the TV doesn’t count. If you can’t be there you shouldn’t have them, this goes for both parents although there is such a thing as too much Mummy, flexitime is the future, economically and socially. It’s no surprise that raising kids in a vacuum will screw them up, that isn’t one sexes fault, all of society is at fault (that means both).
In Victorian times, men began abandoning their families for drink in more urban pubs and bars, ‘throwing themselves away’ on it, and the modern vision of single parenthood emerged because the father was unconscious or …elsewhere. Addictions were common in men and excused for abandoning them on the regular because children were not considered full people, in part to deal with their mortality rate. Sometimes the women would die in childbirth, which is hardly their fault. Rarely one spouse would run away, often to America.
It is true that if men want the social power of the Master of the House, they need to be held to the highest moral standard. No affairs, no abuse, no addictions, the obvious. If they cared about their children above an egoistic promotion, they would spend their free time with them rather than playing the bachelor life (do you think the kids don’t notice?) I love the money excuse, when you can lose more with a promotion by moving into a higher tax bracket and in getting paid less per hour for the longer hours you’re expected to work. That isn’t an excuse and it misses the point deliberately. The studies have shown time and time again that children will always value time above money assuming a lower-middle class level of comfort. It’s an odd example of men trying to Have It All, or seem to, by having Work he hates, Wife he tolerates, Children he abandons and a debauched social life he pretends is good for his family, let alone himself.
How often do you hear parenting tips for mothers? All of parenting books and TV shows and so on, tend to lecture to women. It isn’t pandering, it’s telling us we’re faulty and need ‘experts’ plugging a book to tell us how to do the most basic human functions, it’s like eating! They lecture us, it’s trashy anyway.
How often do you hear lectures on fatherhood, and purposefully, what a good father is?
Almost like modern society is against happy families, because they fill that emotional void with credit-purchased crap on Black Friday.
But that’s none of my business America.
And no, telling men not to abandon their kids after willingly reproducing is not advice. For all the mean stereotypes, the black family model used to be quite stable with the Church before the men went out for mistresses a la the faux Bachelor Life. I’m sure on their death beds, they’ll regret going to less strip-clubs and paying for less drinks at a bar.