The invention of yoga and British colonialism

“In contemporary yoga classes, teachers often speak of Patanjali’s “Yoga Sutras,” a philosophical text compiled around two thousand years ago, as the wellspring of the practice. This requires an imaginative leap, because the yoga sutras say next to nothing about physical poses; their overriding concern is the workings of the mind. Yoga, the sutras say, “is the restriction of the fluctuations of consciousness.” The total of their guidance about posture is that it should be “steady and comfortable.”
Instructions for postures, or asanas, appeared much later, in medieval tantra-inflected texts, such as the “Hatha Yoga Pradipika.” Even in those works, however, you won’t find many of the positions taught today as yoga. Fifteen poses appear in the “Hatha Yoga Pradipika,” most of them seated or supine.”

For sex. I want to make that part crystal-clear. It was a sex book.

uhuh hmm o really rlly doubt eyebrow flash lara croft

Not exercises one would teach to children. Orgasm control is fundamental.

Normal people call that mind work ‘meditation’ and the Lotus position was popularized by statues of Buddha with his symbolic flower, created by the alignment and opening of all chakras; those people are vivacious and fiery. Note: Buddhism is not a religion, because there is no God to worship. Yoga gave Boomer hippies a way to rebel with their parent’s exercise regime by giving it new clothes (always a red flag), a xenophilic mystique and a new brand name.

The system that Krishnamacharya created there drew on hatha yoga, as well as traditional Indian wrestling and gymnastics, British Army calisthenics and, according to the scholar Mark Singleton, the Danish educator Niels Bukh’s “primitive gymnastics.”

Have you seen most yoga people? They could hardly catch a fish. They are such wastrels they look anorexic, this isn’t healthy. It’s mostly glorified stretching, a build-up to exercise, some core work and a lot of futile cardio (and BREEEEEEEEEEEEATHE).

Literally, sitting in a salt bath or sauna is better for you than pointless cardio.

Men usually practice with one aim: self-fellation.
Women – the ability to put their legs behind their head (unlikely if your hips have closed or fused or otherwise fully matured).

The parts of yoga that work are based on pilates, a form of formal physiotherapy in use to this day and trialed on war veterans. The rest is ripped off tai chi for flow of posture and a retinue of nature-based poses e.g. monkey king. Go ahead, give the Indians credit for the Chinese discipline with a true thousands-year history. Don’t whine to me about cultural appropriation. ‘Hot’ yoga works better because it lubricates the joints and organs, including the skin. All exercise is about flexibility, that isn’t a distinctive trait.

You know the one hallmark of a great workout?

You feel like Death afterwards. 

If you feel better, you’re simply out of shape and tuning up to the common level minus caffeine, alcohol and drug dependency. Not to mention pollution, dehydration, poor diet, lack of sleep………

Actual yoga is just a warm-up. It’s the thing you do before exercise. Everyone feels refreshed after a warm-up. You don’t just stop, it’s so lazy. If you offer to take them to a real workout, they sneer and make excuses, fooling nobody. It isn’t a military drill, you aren’t being tested out for the Marines here, it’s basic equipment and exercise.

There’s no magic exercise routine, it’s supposed to deplete and exhaust your body aka the purpose of having a body, possibly increasing capacity. Desperate people cling to desperate forms of validation.

They have terrible pain endurance as well, after bragging how ‘hard’ and ‘painful’ yoga supposedly is (sunk cost fallacy). Naturally, bad postures will be painful, because the body isn’t supposed to twist itself into a pretzel and it’s unnatural (notice old people who do it still have worsening joints? it makes their pain worse). Anything objective like that and suddenly they do their best psychic impression: The benefits are immeasurable. – liars

How sad must you be as an adult, to care about being cool?

One response to “The invention of yoga and British colonialism

1. Be civil. 2. Be logical or fair. 3. Do not bore me.

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