Tea, coffee or cocoa: which is better?

coffeeteacocoa

Inspired by this comic.

Black tea is retarded leaf water and nobody really likes green.

Black tea contains fluoride which cannot be removed.

Search fluoride Harvard.

This might be why the British have lost our fighting spirit, the more cups of black tea with fluoridated water we consume PER DAY.

Coffee is the cocaine of pussies. After a brief high, whatever you consume as your brain downregulates activity to compensate merely keeps your levels normal aka not boosted. Coffee is not a nootropic in the neurological sense. Plus the modern dosages (one serving is not a Venti barrel) fuck with your sperm.

No, literally, your sperm gets fucked up.

http://www.babymed.com/improving-his-fertility

However, large amounts of caffeine cause sperm to swim slower thereby reducing male fertility. In order to improve fertility reduce or eliminate caffeine from your daily diet while you and your partner are trying to conceive.”

Meanwhile, chocolate, drink of cannibals and philosophers…

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/12/17/the-surprisingly-manly-history-of-hot-cocoa/

Chocolate is as complex as wine, in fact, this is the reason for classic wine and cheese OR chocolate sessions.

Chocolate contains flavonoids, like tea, but mixed with dairy (a milk or cream base) has the same impact as what all the hipsters call Bulletproof Coffee. Only better because the cocoa fats render well with the animal fat and absorb better into the body (more important than what you ingest).

Vegan chocolate is the shit, you can get green tea flavour if you’re boring or strawberry milkshake if you’re me. Put it in your wheatgrass high estrogen smoothies if you wanna be a pussy about it.

The Enlightenment was founded on chocolate, moreso than coffee. Great scientists and Casanova, among many royals, chugged the stuff.

Hot Chocolate is the drink of the beverage master-race.
All the facts are there.

….We have options. We haz your whipped cream. We haz the marshmallows. The humble cinnamon wand. We haz da mighty wafer.
There is no come-down from a good hot chocolate. There isn’t enough sugar for a sugar crash, the dairy is light enough (genetics – only white people can properly digest dairy) that it causes no digestion issues and you can drink as many as you want without fucking your BP. You can happily mix Merlot into it. Bourbon. Vodka. Say the same about coffee.

How is this not a thing?

That and bone marrow ‘butter’. Great on garlic bread.

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1. Be civil. 2. Be logical or fair. 3. Do not bore me.

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