Lovebombing in romantic connections

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/reading-between-the-headlines/201703/the-manipulative-partners-most-devious-tactic

This isn’t news and I’ve mentioned it before.

The article mentions narcissists and sociopaths as typical predators who use this technique.

Yes, it’s also a PUA one.

However, many sociopaths are actually misdiagnosed borderlines and male borderlines try to control when their fear of abandonment kicks in. In effect, the lovebombing is a bribe – how can you leave me after all I did for you?

Sounds a little better when they re-tell it than:
I won’t let you leave!
We’ll be together forever!*

They miss out their long list of conditions, “*as long as you put up with my…..”.

That’s not love, folks.

It’s just a form of compulsive lying.

It uses romance (courtship gestures, that have requirements, they aren’t empty displays like Americans think) to get close to a person, in their head actually.

They’re the guys who went around claiming to be Nice, when they really mean – manipulating with flowers, like the classic deadbeat husband that buys flowers every time he cheats. It’s the reason women are suspect to ‘nice’ guys. If they’ve gotta tell ya… force that belief in through a wedge… our EQ kicks in.
Their defense is flawless, to other parties, the fault lies with you for rejecting their affection – what’s wrong with you? Society tells you these displays are always wanted, good and sincere. Well, Disney tells us that, it teaches us romance is guileless.

Ha.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201707/6-common-traits-narcissists-and-gaslighters

It’s a type of gaslighting, forcing certain beliefs into them.

i.e.

If they’re your soulmate, surely you don’t have to convince them?

If you have a long future to look forward to, then you’ll be around to plan it, you don’t need to keep mentioning it?

It’s cult behaviour but between two people.

You believe this, yes? You believe this because We believe this.

Note one party loses their identity but the other gets to retain their individuality, full freedoms and gain a newfound sense of control over the other…. that isn’t love, that’s slavery.

1. Be civil. 2. Be logical or fair. 3. Do not bore me.

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