Link: Men explain things to me

https://www.guernicamag.com/rebecca-solnit-men-explain-things-to-me/

I did have a post explaining the real features of mansplaining but I need to find it to post it. At least I doubt I posted it. It’s hard to keep track. This will be blunt for the spergs.

You’re not holding court if the other party hates you and wants to leave.

I have never seen a woman do it. We keep out. It seems a male feature, especially a bitchy gamma male type. Internet bitch fights between guys. Think the atheist talking about sky fairies when nobody asked.

When men do it to other men, which is uncommon, they’re just called jerks.
There should really be a term for this behaviour though.

It’s toxic, it’s antisocial and it’s ignorant to think a conversation is an excuse to chop the other party down.
You can say someone’s wrong if you think, but there’s a respectful adult, mature way, and then the way where you make them never want to speak to you again and act like it’s their fault you’re an ass.

Also a favourite with the guys who complain of being friendzoned. They’re normally not friends but acquaintances.
I insult her! I demean her! I disrespect her! Why won’t she date me? I’m such a Nice Guy!

Really they’re passive aggressive and blow hot and cold while thinking they’re being smouldering and mysterious.

One of the assumptions is that a woman, despite credentials, has no idea what she’s talking about (even as she’s teaching you the thing, thereby proving it) or randomly invalidating their opinion purely because they’re a woman (that’s just sexist, like when SJWs dismiss men on that basis).

Opinions don’t need to be right.

 

So the bloviating moron just rattles off his opinion like a fact glibly and expects the presumably ditzy girl to be sexually impressed. And that’s the worst part, they think cocky is sexy.

No woman fancies House.

None.

Have you noticed that?

…Why do you do this?

It’s the shittiest flirting tactic known to man.

Look how smart I am! they think they’re signalling.

Look how obnoxious I can be! women see.

You are not at work and you’re not the boss there either, so you couldn’t bully people like that at work. If you did bully work inferiors, they’d leave. If you’re mean when you’re trying to be ‘nice’ on first meeting, imagine what an asshole they think you are once they get to know you, who wants to? Really it’s the bottom rungs of men who do this because negative attention is better than none, they’re already unattractive but this makes it hard to look past because there isn’t even inner beauty or some sympathy.

Woman thinks:

Why should I be nice and carry you in this conversation? Next!

It’s this alpha posturing BS going round. The old term for this? False bravado.

It’s fake as those thots’ nails. Pretending it’s about the intellect doesn’t make you less superficial than a guy in a tight tank top, you’re still being vain. It’s a false image of leadership. Who is inspired by catty comments?

There’s a sexual element where it’s like negging but instead of appearance or something superficial like a laugh or posture, they’re dehumanizing you. It’s the dehumanization part that rings true to regular, non-SJW women and made this such a Thing, thanks to EQ. I’ve had men on here try to deny women’s EQ when there are plenty of studies, since the idea of women being good/better at anything triggers them to their tiny fragile peanut balls, but then go on to say women are too sensitive. ….like -how? How does your brain keep you alive when it’s so dumb?

They’re patronizing but in doing so, demonstrating their stupidity. If the woman defends herself, let alone fighting fire with fire? He gets really offended and maybe calls her a sexist bitch.

ugh.

You don’t take the time (SQ) to explain something for free only for the ingrate to turn around and begin implying that, because they don’t like what you say, you have no right to say it.. also because you have tits. Ironically they talk about freedom of speech constantly…. yeah, they just mean their speech. So you can’t punch them for being jerks….

That was April 2008 and it struck a chord.  It still seems to get reposted more than just about anything I’ve written at TomDispatch.com, and prompted some very funny letters to this site. None was more astonishing than the one from the Indianapolis man who wrote in to tell me that he had “never personally or professionally shortchanged a woman” and went on to berate me for not hanging out with “more regular guys or at least do a little homework first,” gave me some advice about how to run my life, and then commented on my “feelings of inferiority.”

Don’t be this guy.

If it’s something a nosy old woman might say, don’t.
Hearing something you don’t like isn’t a personal insult.

Don’t make it personal.

He thought that being patronized was an experience a woman chooses to, or could choose not to have–and so the fault was all mine. Life is short; I didn’t write back.

the way someone else speaks to you is THEIR fault

they are the responsible one for their tongue

even being wrong isn’t a provocation

it’s a learning opportunity

a bonding opportunity

or maybe that’s my EQ talking

not a bitchy high horse shade-throwing competition

cause?

straight men are acting gay

to attract women

it puts off women

homosexual men do this

that’s why they do it

they always did this

look at Oscar Wilde!

Young women subsequently added the word “mansplaining” to the lexicon. Though I hasten to add that the essay makes it clear mansplaining is not a universal flaw of the gender, just the intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of that gender gets stuck.

arrogance

empty arrogance

nothing between the ears

literally no self-awareness, like, autistic levels but no autism

It’s like being nagged but about something you don’t need to do, by someone who acts like they know you and has no idea what they’re talking about. They seek you out and maybe corner you and trap you with a question to make it look less like bullying.

to the sincere fools:

you can’t banter until there’s a bond

Busybodies is too archaic a term. The worst were crotchety old men. At least the women would feed you and it wasn’t about sex.

The funniest are when any woman who uses this word gets mansplained by a broflake guy who says he’s never seen or done it.

It’s a thing you do, that’s why the word is used.
It just isn’t always directed at women, but when it is, there’s a significantly patronizing power dynamic imbalancing tone, regardless of the actual status of individuals involved.

The other cause? Smartphones.

They can’t hold a conversation anymore, we blame the internet.

Then there’s the sociopathic nutjobs-

On two occasions around that time, I objected to the behavior of a man, only to be told that the incidents hadn’t happened at all as I said, that I was subjective, delusional, overwrought, dishonest–in a nutshell, female.

That’s misogyny and gaslighting.

You are woman, therefore must be <character insult>, it’s defamation.
Men used to hold their tongue in days of dueling.

The craziest ones you’ll ever see think they’re playing Freud and can sit judging all women as inferior because they imagine a fetish of theirs, daddy issues (plot twist: because they have the daddy issues) and begin seeing insanity or dishonesty everywhere… because they need a shrink themselves. Put down the schoolgirl/teacher porn!

Men explain things to me, still. And no man has ever apologized for explaining, wrongly, things that I know and they don’t.

that’s the virtue of humility

let me end with

Surely one of these men has died of embarrassment, but not nearly publicly enough.

1. Be civil. 2. Be logical or fair. 3. Do not bore me.

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