A highly useful article
Trying to force intimacy is prior to discovering their missing parts.
When you only have a hammer…
you’re already semi-Communist.
The authors conclude that the ultimate destination sought by men is “porntopia,” that is, a place of “sheer lust and physical gratification, devoid of courtship, commitment, durable relationships, or mating effort.” On the other hand, they call women’s desired destination “romantopia,” a place of love stories where winning hearts, overcoming obstacles, and getting married reign supreme.
When you only study porn addicts….
Men invented courtly love, so that’s totally off.
There are few poetesses.
There are plenty of masculine female porn addicts (by testosterone).
It is not difficult to see how such information, coupled with the seemingly daily exposure of some men’s unwanted sexual aggression, can lead to the pathologizing of all men as shallow beasts with no control over their impulses. As a sex therapist, however, I have seen the depth of men’s suffering around trying to bridge the gap between their attachment language and their partner’s.
When you only speaking to the suffering….
And it isn’t pathologizing if they have a pathology.
NAMALT, he cries, to cover the obvious error in logic. Even if it’s 99%, that still isn’t good, is it? Never trust a sex therapist, they are some of the worst humans in existence and want to spread the misery.
Instead, they are hoping that their partner can understand when they use language or actions in the bedroom that may objectify the partner, they are seeking erotic intimacy.
You see, there’s the stupid illogic of saying I didn’t want to kill them, your Honour, only stab them fifty times.
You bring that suffering on yourself.
Assuming women should accommodate men when the sexes are different is absurd.
Men shouldn’t accommodate women either. You negotiate and meet halfway like adults
Objectification is demeaning. It’s demeaning to male models as much as female.
You shouldn’t be demeaning anyone you personally know,it’s a form of emotional abuse, however normalised by perverts. Porn is a fantasy of women you do not know. That is the attraction. The association of objectifying them is porn-learned behaviour.
Intimacy is emotional. It doesn’t require the physical. They need to work on their emotions by speaking to the woman, not griping to another man who will console them that they’re fine – because neither get it. You’re fine, just the way you are – spoken like a true SJW. You see, the more you suffer personally, the more they gain.
Consider the source.
You don’t go to a woman for information on erections, do you?
If a woman relinquished all forms of companionship and emotional support, a man would feel repelled, however ‘good’ the sex. That is essentially what these men are doing. Do not treat your woman like a porn star. You wouldn’t want other men to and she’s the one you’re meant to love best. You can try new things without insulting a woman’s dignity, which is the more common form of virtue when chastity is out the window.
You have half the bargain. You don’t do your half, she’s in the right to walk because you fail as a spouse. If you’re not spouses, you owe nothing. She owes you nothing, because you provide no security, which all women crave. This used to be common sense.
Think back to the 50s. Did men want to think of their wife like a stripper? Did they speak of, treat her in those terms? Let alone the hooker many men think they want. Thanks MTV!
Your downstairs brain will ruin your life.
A woman’s nurturing instinct is killed dead by a man who objectifies her body, because a woman’s most precious resources are inner beauty.
Happy husbands do not objectify their wives, this erodes love over time. This should rest my case but you can’t tell a blind man what he’s missing.
The least helpful thing one can do is succumb wholly to one’s bias toward a feminine approach to relationship, forcing the man into greater feelings of self-loathing, shame, and suppression of his desires.
Sex therapist encourages fornication.
Is that not unhealthy for the men too?
I mean, impulse control in men is just so 19th Century, and we all know how poor the quality of those average men.
And bias? If it isn’t a choice, or an obligation, how is bias the correct term?
Without balancing both of men and women’s sexual and relational needs, there is a risk of creating even more distance between them.
The Sexual Revolution has only been good for us. We are never/always at war with dissatisfaction. Bad sex is the cardinal sin. You have too much/too little/bad quality and there’s always, ALWAYS something wrong with you – gimme money. I can’t fix the problem though, that’s down to you, and whether you feel you need more
development work Mafia style beat downs to your ego, courtesy of the people who know your body better than you and just care too damn much. They only want world peace! A fuck-a-thon orgy for peace!
How about a balance of life and death? Hunger and gluttony? Nude and prude?
A balance between good and evil is not physically possible, and that keeps ‘therapists’ rolling in bucks. Either it’s prosocial or antisocial. What is sleeping around? What is an objectifying (psychopathic) attitude to the pair bonding event of sex?
At least preachers are sincere.
Psychopaths objectify naturally, we’re all ants to them. Used/abused/crushed to amuse.
Those of us who have studied and trained in the concept of healthy sexuality—not just sexual pathology—realize the vast ranges of erotic expression in humans. We have barely begun to open to the idea that what has been acceptable culturally—heteronormative, monoganormative, and vanilla sex—does not begin to address who we really are.
“Vanilla sex” is actually healthy, normal, evolutionary sex. If you can’t appreciate normal sex, there is something medically wrong with you.
There’s the money, there’s the sale, there is what you’re really paying for.
Degenerates. Always preaching, always selling.
Go gay for Putin!
To think of all men as having pathological attitudes about sex is a sure way to shut down the emerging awareness of the myriad ways in which we can healthfully engage in this most basic expression of love and attachment, and differentiate it from the unhealthy ways we are seeing it played out in the media
He just said it isn’t about love and is 100% lust but ignore logic.
OMG it’s basic how can you argue with something so basic just go to a standard fuckparty and express yourself so basic, the only way to attach to another human being requires the Kama Sutra (btw quite a shit book).
Related, do gaslighters know what they’re doing?
Duh. They know they get a thrill out of putting down good/kind/vulnerable people.
You wonder why there are less of them in the world?
The manipulations of gaslighters.
The Alt Right has been flooded with them, power-tripping on the quickly disappearing women and ‘beta virgins’ – no, they won’t read any evolution that makes them know how dumb they are.
“it’s okay to bully you, we’re on the same side” (in evidence, they only care about themselves, not even other white men)
“take a joke, you’re not allowed to be offended by banter” (British term, stop using it America)
“you’re too sensitive, stop caring about things” (not inc. their shit-tier opinions)
“what a loser” (by their highly subjective standards where they are #1 alpha dog in charge)
It would be sad if they weren’t so toxic. Gaslighters are a type of emotional vampire, this is why they threaten to leave – they feed on the drama of being begged to stay.
They leave when the host runs out of histrionics they can cause/manipulate (narcissistic supply) and they kill whatever movement they’re in (the cause of the manosphere implosion).
Men are dumb to gaslighters, failing to distinguish it from regular bullying or, in denser cases, bonding banter. When someone ostracizes you for existing, they’re not trying to bond?
It’s actually the Mean Girls unique form of bullying, deeply female. Isolation, esteem pummeling, all girls have experience with this. Bitchy traps like “you’re really pretty…. so you agree?” are tactically designed to plant a poisonous little seed of doubt or trigger some pain, the stupid men tend to skip ahead and insult a woman’s body parts e.g. her womb and/or fuckability, same as Mean Girls – pregnancy/whore slander and sluttiness/prude impossible fake standards. Think how low a man must be to verbally abuse a woman by her children, existent or not?
Others gaslight in order to feel some sense of control in their own lives by making others depend on them. Gaslighting can also be part of an authoritarian personality. A person with an authoritarian personality tends to think in absolutes: Things are 100 percent right or 100 percent wrong. When a gaslighter thinks that they are not the problem and everyone else is, this is called having an ego-syntonic personality.
It can be very difficult to get ego-syntonic gaslighters into treatment; they believe nothing is wrong with them.
That is called a lie.
In truth, they don’t care or see it as an advantage.
They’re the atheistkultists who lie about Darwin.
A gaslighting spouse or partner may either refuse to go to therapy, or if they do attend with you, they may tell the therapist that you are the problem.
If the therapist recommends that the gaslighter changes a behavior, the gaslighter will label the therapist as incompetent.
Even in therapy, a gaslighter may not truly be aware of, or may refuse to acknowledge that their behavior is the problem.
Even if a person is practicing gaslighting behavior without being consciously aware of it, they may get a “payoff” when their victim becomes more dependent on them. And then the cycle continues. The gaslighter also gets a “boost” when there are no checks and balances in place—no one holding them accountable for their behavior.
They claim not to be aware but they know it makes them feel strong?
Someone fell for it. The sob story.
If a gaslighter is not aware of their manipulative behavior, that does not make it acceptable—it is still pathological, and it is still their responsibility. For gaslighters who have read up on this behavior or were taught it, of course, the same rule applies.
People tell them constantly. The definition of insanity? They’re just dense, they will never learn, so they’re commonly just a type of sociopath forever blaming their parents.
Negging is like gaslighting lite. They act like it’s nothing but select for the broken, like attracts like. Anyone with a spine is a ‘bitch’ or in the case of men, ‘an asshole.’ Lord Fauntleroy wants his way so the world must bow to Little Emperor…