Old but gold. A lot of new people won’t have seen this.
The gist of the concept? To assist the outgroup at the expense of the ingroup.
To ‘help’ in such a way that objectively and permanently hurts.
Where soft-heartedness becomes sadism.
Where conscientiousness becomes toxic and kindness, abusive.
Compassion as harm or self-harm. Self-loathing is part of it, a socially desirable means of self-destruction.
The self-righteous people who virtue signal, are covered in her book specifically.
This lady wrote the book. The seminal intellectual standard on the topic.
It has its own wikipedia page:
Chapter 1 sample:
It’s an official academic book published by Oxford University Press.
Can’t get more legitimate than that, can you? Read it, keep it, it’s a classic.
Gift it to Guardian readers if you’re feeling salty.
Best Amazon review:
Of particular interest to me, as a clinical psychologist, is how the information in this book illustrates the phenomenon of infantalizing people or otherwise restricting their emotional growth which then renders them, from a developmental standpoint, perpetual adolescents and thus pathologically dependent on others. The research provided by the multiple contributors to this amazing book provides very convincing, if not concrete, examples of doing for adults what they can do for themselves, and how it harms them for a lifetime. It also covers the areas where narcissistic individuals, to include doctors, lawyers, psychologists, social workers, and politicians, “do for others” against the others’ wishes. To infantilize someone the process is simple: Take over or dismiss their decision making process, remove personal responsibility, remove lessons or consequences for life choices, and then blame other people or institutions for the disastrous personal choices one makes. As well, to continue to save someone from him or herself is the primary construct of the infantalization process. The targets of pathological “care” never learn to adapt to life’s slings and arrows, they never learn critical thinking skills, and they remain vulnerable, controllable, and dependent on others for their daily life decisions. This incredible book describes the process thoroughly. It should be required reading in any university “helping profession” curriculum as well as for every politician in office. To those who insist on cradle to grave “caring” of others, you may need therapy after reading this book.