We need more records from men like this rather than bitter screeds from divorcees and bachelors. The advice sources are polar opposites to one another because they lived it.
There’s an obvious point I made earlier, I’ve noticed any time a selfish person marries (even if they marry a saint) the union is doomed. This is one of my most popular posts:
Don’t marry a selfish person who cannot combine in a marital UNION or if you are one, know this and do not marry. You can’t “make it work” unless you get a personality transplant. Being selfish, they don’t really try and therapists will tell you they superficially make an effort only as a means to abuse and control. The power dynamics must be equal because both are working for one another.
Do I have to mention the obvious, like liking each other when sex is off the table? Shared values? Good taste in friends? No vices?
His points are, for the record and lightly extrapolated:
- Faith in God. Appreciation for the sacred.
- Loyalty (goes both ways, just assume on all these).
- Asking God for a loyal spouse, who would stay in hard times too.
- Know your dealbreakers and shun them quickly (nothing you do yourself either), especially addictions and the delusions that often accompany them e.g. smoking.
- Do not put yourself in a situation where you grow close to someone unsuitable. Common sense?
- “Your wife will be your best friend in the world or your worst enemy and which one she is, is down to you” – Grandmother.
- “No matter what, you never speak bad of her in front of anyone else, never (bitch) about her.” – Grandmother, about respect.
- “Never degrade or make fun of her” (mockery, is not funny) – “to her face especially, the world will do that enough and try to put her down, she doesn’t need her husband to do that” (be the sanctuary). – Grandmother
- “Everything you buy, put her name on it. She’s an equal portion of this family and treat her as that, don’t treat her as a second-class citizen or worse, a slave! She’s equal in every possible way” (investment, union) “including in the bank accounts and anything else that you have your name on.” (trust)
- “Wait five years before you have children, before you even consider having children. That time will be the glue that allows you both to know each other and love each other. That five years will be invaluable.”
The most important takeaway, don’t indulge in the gay best friend bitch fests society is also introducing and encouraging men to take part in. The thing a woman most wants is the same as a man: respect. If you can’t give that, it won’t last. It is down to the man to show respect and it will be reciprocated (since, implied, he sets the tone).
We need valuable old advice like this.
I wonder what the divorce rate is if one is an atheist? I have won a lot of bets checking that.