Victorian etiquette – most still applies?

Most of us still abide by these rules generally? The only exceptions are chavs and chavettes, that’s why we look down on them as bestial people, quite feral. We need to bring back general consideration of other people (high trust behaviour) but at least it exists in my social circles…

It’s funny that Americans view this as so improbable and old-fashioned when most of those rules still apply today here. Like, English people don’t speak to strangers in the street, but a man speaking a woman (especially a lone woman) is expected to be a thief at best or more likely a rapist, causing foreign PUAs to complain online and nag that their ‘game’ doesn’t work in England because the English still living here view their predations on random women as well, …predatory, and opportunistic (BECAUSE THEY ARE) or at least uncouth. Women can speak to men first because there’s no physical threat but if she’s trying to lure him elsewhere the same caution applies. We view it as common sense really. Flirts are unpopular, especially the men. I remember one man who was a bit foreign in upbringing and didn’t ‘get it’ going around a large packed room asking half the women out (myself included) and had the nerve to be offended we all turned him down. It was detestable. Dating too many people is frowned upon and asking too many people out will get you a reputation, since it’s insulting to the quality of that person. Hollywood lies. Players are isolated here, if you keep bringing pests to parties you’ll stop getting invited yourself. The men in the room didn’t like him either and he was ostracized for a while after. The guys going on about The Good Old Days never stop to think how much of their own conduct would be stigmatized. They’d be the loser of the group like that guy, they’d probably be the reject of any Patriarchy, which frowns on bachelors until they’re proven trustworthy (aka not creepy, gay or a secret pedo). The scorecard looks completely different to degenerate coastal America. We are not socially postmodern, Westminster types do not count. We still have the gentleman ideal, we call him professional or polite.

It’s easy to play spot the (coastal, urban) American when they complain a lady never held the door open for them. I was raised to do that all the time growing up and it was normal, if I touched the door first while wearing trousers and flatter shoes or if a man was carrying something heavy with both hands.It’s common sense. Women seldom do if we wear a dress and heels because of the skirt length and heels. Etiquette then dictates not to. In the evening, men always open the doors. It’s a masculine thing. Also, we avoid doing it for men we sense fancy us because foreigners in particular view manners as a pick-up. …It’s a door.

The ‘domineering’ point is correct, it’s viewed as mental abuse, an unhealthy power dynamic. How insecure must a man be? The man is viewed as cruel and passed over by the woman (if she’s smart) and at work (since he cannot lead normally). Since women are gentler, it’s akin to bullying a child. We can’t fist fight into honour, nothing to do with intellect. You’re also supposed to hear women out and find common agreement, more than turning reddit atheistkult and playing Well Actually… So-called negging is viewed as quite homosexual, although you obviously won’t see that in books. It’s the main gay flirting tactic so confusing to apply to women, who will assume you’re bi minimum. I’ve seen American men try it on to ‘AMOG’ in English circles and be confused when it never worked. We don’t like homo-erotic bullies? A lot of metrosexual bitchy whining nagging behaviour is viewed as urban effete American and avoided. Like accidental texts about a woman being too fat/ugly after she turns down a man…. I cannot believe adults consider that acceptable. All the cowardly stuff is to be avoided, anything that triggers mantrums: Long rants about ‘females’, how your exes were all ‘crazy’ – people assume it was your fault. You picked them all. People assume you’re a crazy-maker and two-faced. Assuming all marriages are unhappy says a lot about your class level. Assuming race-mixing is normal suggests your friends lack in traditional principles and have bad taste (xenophilia), lots of things ‘give away’ the fake Ks pretending they aren’t PC when they think what is normal truly, statistically is not. Too much Ikea, clothing minimalism, a bachelor identity they cling to like a male cat lady, liking crude violent sexual humour e.g. bang… it’s repulsive to English people generally. Refusing to acknowledge these are rude when it’s explained is gaslighting, since we know our own culture and we don’t want to be coastal America. We voted to leave the EU and some of them have some manners. Calling us ‘uptight’ for saying an American was going ‘too far’ is declasse. If you want polite society, you must follow the rules. Yes, follow, we all do. Americans imitate their crass comedians, we view ours as jesters and buffoons i.e. what not to do. Mainly, do not discuss your pipes – ANY of them. Tell only a doctor.

1. Be civil. 2. Be logical or fair. 3. Do not bore me.

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