A man’s dating advice

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-29935/is-your-dream-guy-missing-this-key-trait.html
Dropping the porn is the biggest hurdle men face. It’s deliberately addictive.

“I now practice mindful sexuality with every girl I meet: cute cashiers, beautiful bartenders, foxy friends. (Gorgeous women are everywhere!) But instead of punching more holes in my heart, I come away from each interaction knowing that I’m a better husband, father, and man. I choose to increase my respect and awe for women in every instance; I refuse to degrade them with my thoughts.”

Friendzoning man still feels entitlement

It isn’t just men, it isn’t just women, people suck!

http://elitedaily.com/dating/say-to-girl-benched/1725357/

“I mean, granted, I was never ready mentally, emotionally, or financially, but all I needed was time. I’m still not all the way there yet, but I’m ready to work.”

>When men in their thirties claim to be ‘figuring stuff out’ like an immature teenage girl…
Is he going on a juice cleanse? Backpacking round India? Converting to Buddhism? New gym membership? Read a great self-help book about Positive Thinking TM? Starting an online store for supplements?

You’re supposed to have figured out how to adult as a teenager.

When you’re double that age, it’s frankly humiliating.

“One day, I was going to take things seriously. I just wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready, but please don’t move on. I had it all planned out in my head. The timing just wasn’t right, I promise.”

Emotional abuse for $200 aka Let me gaslight you into doubting your own, accurate impression of me and treat you like shit because I wanna get away with being a terrible person.


R-types believe they can have their cake and eat it aka the Have it All lifestyle.
Life is all about timing, either you snatch up the good while it’s there or it will go. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal.

People pair up very quickly by around thirty. It’s like musical chairs in reverse. There are chairs but they’re kinda sticky.

“You knew that one day it would be you and me. So you waited patiently.”

That’s called friendship.
Women don’t wait around like that unless they’re crazy, like creepy men.

Sane people have personal boundaries and don’t allowed themselves to be used.

He thought he was playing her for emotional companionship and later, sex and wifing up, but that friendship was all she wanted. Classic!

“You seem happy. I hope you are because I’m not. I mean I’m happy for you. But I feel like sh*t. That gorgeous smile I see is the product of someone else’s doing.”

Narcissism. Furious that others are having fun without them.

“I can make your smile wider, though! I’m the only one who literally has you dying laughing, adding the extra O’s to your LMAO.”

That is the most 21st century male thing I have ever heard.
Men used to promise to conquer empires, dammit. That is plain pathetic.

He’s not even offering to cook her dinner.

SOME-THING.

I think this is why she was relieved he kept it at a friendship level.
She dodged 7 bullets out of a 6-chamber gun.

Women notice how you treat us, I covered this in detail. If we’re your friend and see other women being treated like shit, the sexual attraction DIES. RIP. NEVER COMING BACK. This is why we have the higher EQ.

https://disenchantedscholar.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/women-notice-how-you-treat-the-rest-of-us/

“It’s my bad. I waited too long. I played around. I thought you would always be there. I took you for granted. I’m sorry.”

False remorse, yep. *checks off list*

https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/shame-guilt-regret-remorse-and-contrition/
“By definition, character-impaired folks have deficient or sometimes even absent consciences. So, genuine remorse is usually not in their vocabulary when they do things that hurt others. They might well have some regret for the practical consequences of their actions, but that’s not at all the same as being remorseful. And, because they are predisposed to use their typical ways of coping (e.g., denying, lying, “justifying,”blaming, etc.) to deal with situational stressors, while they might experience momentary regret over an adverse consequence of their behavior, they usually only dig in their heels and become more determined than ever to have their way, primarily because they lack remorse. That’s precisely why they don’t seem to learn from experience. They actually do learn, and learn plenty. They just don’t learn the lessons we’d like them to learn. It’s because of their lack of remorse that they don’t re-assess their general approach to things and seriously consider modifying their style…”

They learn to fuck you over better next time.

Guilt is feeling bad about something you’ve done, whereas shame is feeling bad about who you are. The popular wisdom for some time has been that guilt is both essential and often helpful to moral functioning but shame is to be avoided because it’s counterproductive at best or outright toxic at worst. Some folks have extended the meaning of shame to include feelings of humiliation, embarrassment, or disgrace. But shame is not synonymous with any of these things (Words have to have meanings and it’s important to distinguish terms). And only recently have some researchers bucked the long popular trend by presenting evidence that some shame can indeed be good.”

He’d love to claim she cheated – on what, is the question begged.

To get this straight as a ruler;

guilt > for actions

shame > for persons

embarrassment > temporary, minor

humiliation > major, self-involved

disgraced > permanent, major, social damage to reputation

e.g. If you cheat on your spouse they are humiliated, if the neighbours find out they are also disgraced.

“Deep down, I’m hoping it doesn’t work out. I’m hoping he messes up — not to the point that he hurts you or to the point that you become bitter and maybe even take it out on me.”

translation:

me me me me me me me me me
but I care about you

This is why women have such concepts as toxic people and frenemies.
They hurt and sabotage you.

“But even worse than all of that is the fact that I’m old, lonely, and full of regret.”

Not her fault.

Come home when you get a chance. I’ll be here.”

Oh, fuck off.

Maybe.”

Kill yourself.

Please.

I didn’t edit that either, it really is that shallow. Check.

Easy men are not hard to get, they don’t get to play hard to get. Coyness is not attractive in a man, it’s commitment phobia. That’s the feminine role.

His earlier article:

http://elitedaily.com/dating/real-reason-guys-bench-girls/1542893/

“Benching”-when men friendzone wife material to pursue slags on the Pussy Parade but don’t want to admit to friendzoning.

“Some girls might call this a fuckboy activity or whatever.”
r-types.

#shudder

Don’t describe me as I am.

“There was never any pressure. Whenever we did link up, we had a non-sexual good time.”

They feel sexually entitled to everything – including platonic friends.
It’s like the so-called alpha widow or a retired porn star.
‘I’m damaged but you should want me even more because blah blah blah magic cheat code word experience.’
Mental damage is certainly an experience.
Bad relationships teach you bad lessons, abusive ones.

To continue seeking out other shitty people (his level) shows he learnt nothing after the first one.

Fool me once…

Once is a mistake, twice, a choice.

“…………….Bench carefully.”

He doesn’t tell men not to, he says not to keep stringing good women along for too long.
What an absolute POS.
Yes, he deserves to be alone.

I’ve seen too many good women lap this bullshit up and wonder why they get cheated on, married.

You can’t change him, you haven’t changed him, this isn’t a fairytale.

These posts are a PSA in avoiding crazy.

21st century economics are making Millennials infertile

http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/school-is-no-longer-conducive-to-human.html

Old but 24K gold.

You must be financially established i.e. independent but Statism eats the young.

Death-o-nomics. Good book title, someone write it!

The problem of finding a suitable mate, issues with pair-bonding and the immigrant competition aside, honest K-types are priced out of the market. You must go on welfare to ‘afford’ children, they have become the ultimate luxury item.

How many are ready for/can afford marriage, let alone children, before 30?

The people who deliberately have kids outside of wedlock are despicable, from a purely child psych perspective, they’re disabling their own stock in many ways.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence this comes from Keynesian economics. He was homosexual, he didn’t have one child. Supposedly, he detested ‘breeders’ and wanted to punish us with his theory.

Pandas don’t reproduce when they’re depressed with the world.

Consider that.

Stop telling women that God will give them a husband later if they delay marriage now

There’s a lot of sweeping assumptions here. There are less quality people. People. Men and women, but since most of aren’t bi, we tend to fixate on the opposite sex. However, due to economic factors alone, even the good ones aren’t getting established financially until their 30s, something Aaron Clarey covered at some point. Combine with other facts like dual incomes are needed based on cost of living, cost of children/a child being more than a house and especially if the woman earns a lot more, she needs to work part-time. There’s nothing wrong with men doing some childcare duties however, we’ve heard for years from men how easy and fun it is and I’m sure they’re mostly just as good at it. However, aside from culture (people used to marry in their 20s, not teens, to establish themselves socially) it’s a hard economic issue. It’s money first, then culture telling us the bachelor lifestyle is good instead of degenerate, and finally, the issue which cannot be rushed unless you want higher divorce rates – finding someone not just of quality, but someone in that already narrow band where you’re both good for each other and can work together, similar ideals etc.

They need to get married probably, but more important is to stay married.

There’s a heavy blaming tone in pointing the finger at women for what is The Domain of men. How many bachelors have you known that just gave up? That is pathetic. Such a person doesn’t deserve the title adult, let alone man. Is their behaviour not their own fault? Who’s got hypoagency now? And these are meant to be the strong community leaders we’re supposed to respect and swoon over? The guys parked in front of porn and video games, so inspirational. And often the guys giving out this advice mock the married.

Anyone delaying on purpose deserves to be alone. It’s the secretary problem. But that’s all the Have it All crowd. 

Imagine how a man and a woman from the 40s would look at your life. If they wouldn’t respect you, why should modern people? It’s a social kind of horseshoe theory where the women who disapprove of modern man the most are either feminists – or heavily traditional. Lumping the latter in with the former, don’t wonder why we avoid you for being too aspie to know the difference between criticism and penis envy.
Men do not deserve respect for existing, nobody does. What goes on between engaged/married people is their private business, these are adults we’re discussing.
The Peter Pan issue is real, I’ve heard a lot of young women bemoan the snowflake men in our generation refuse to grow up (and move into full adulthood). You complain that people can’t cook and other self-reliance, everyone should know those things, okay. But how many 30-somethings still act like teenagers? Is that acceptable? Where’s the shame? I bet the number of times you called them on their shit approaches ZERO.

It’s completely traditional to ask a biological man to man-up. Not to marry just anyone for the sake of it, and he controls the selection, not her, but at least start acting like an adult on most fronts. Is that SO much to ask for??

How is a woman supposed to date adult men when none exist in her age group? They may be biological adults, but psychologically they’re thirteen. How is he supposed to keep a family when he can’t keep his sock drawer clean? When will the men self-police and decide on some kind of common standard before bitching about how they’re entitled to XYZ in a woman, as if sperm is the more expensive, evolutionally valuable quantity here (we know that’s a lie and it puts us off you because you don’t get It) and as if women don’t commit more in our fertility (physically, literally) and in pure manhours (irony, we give up basically the rest of our lives, men have breaks from the home). Women follow men. No suitable men? …’Where are all the women’, they ask? Waiting for men to get their act together, that’s where! We shouldn’t have to tell you to be men, that’s how dire the maturity situation is. Mentioning this makes me very uncomfortable and that’s why I’m cautious not to be too specific because this is for men to decide amongst themselves, taught by living examples, not some conceited guys with opinions on marriage who can’t keep a girlfriend over two years. Find your role models who are living it and learn the only way that works.

I heard recently a guy made a stupid mistake and people said ‘aw, he’s just 21’ like he was 12! No, if you’re old enough to vote and die for your country, you’re old enough not to fuck up. The only reason we have special snowflakes is cos the culture keeps giving them sympathy instead of a slap from reality. Bring back adult standards – for all adults. Fairly common sense stuff.

Oh and those supposed ‘good men’ don’t want to commit anymore. At all. To anyone. There are 18yo ‘good’ men, who refuse to commit, like the feminists of yore, thinking they can play the field, Have it All, and scoop up the same quality woman just sitting around waiting for him like a bobbing duck once they’ve racked up STDs past their sexual peak (18 for men). Despite the weaker pair bonding/family loyalty offered by all types of sluts, inc men. Did I mention the rampant porn addiction too? Cos that’s cheating, the brain doesn’t know the difference. Men offer the commitment, that isn’t women’s fault. So it isn’t so much a case of when will the women settle down and your forefathers would’ve laughed you out the room for loading that question, as why won’t the men propose to anyone? What’s wrong with them or their life? Since men control the proposal, the lower marriage rate is directly their fault.

“And they think they’re entitled to some goody-two-shoes wife, that another, better man would otherwise be assigned socially?…

They think they can Have It All like SATC scum? This doesn’t happen, and a manwhore has a high divorce risk too. Nothing to do with the woman. You can’t be a player and settle down, they’re mutually exclusive lifestyles and mindsets. Your brain is literally wired differently. The studies show they’re dissatisfied whichever wife they do get because they’ve been spoiled sexually. Spoiled. Like an apple. Rotten.” source

Your question is wrong so you’re all asking one another questions about female psychology instead of actually listening to women. Sausage fest won’t tell you anything you dunno already. If you wanna intellectually masturbate one another, fine, go ahead, sorry to interrupt. However, your question’s false and loaded with incorrect priors. If you want something to chew on and resolve this problem than merely talk about it, listen up.
In sum, it isn’t Why won’t women marry men and follow their lead?
As it is;

  1. Why won’t adult men act like it?
  2. Where are the male role models living the dream?
  3. Why won’t men propose?
  4. Why can’t men keep a family?
  5. Why do men feel entitled to XYZ like a social contract and what is their payment due for receipt of these things?
  6. Why can’t a man find a woman who respects him?
  7. Why do men expect a woman who doesn’t fully respect him is a good marriage candidate and how much of the blame is his?
  8. Why don’t modern women respect the modern man and his lifestyle and what can be done to raise standards all around?
  9. Which behaviours are to blame for this and how does each sex contribute to these?
  10. Should we emphasize marriage for all, at what age, under what conditions, when is divorce permissible and what about everyone else? Should people wait until meeting the right One and how can this process of courting be sped up and how many children should married couples be encouraged to have and when?

If you ignore all those questions, no wonder you go round in circles like dogs chasing your tails.
Is bitching about people the respectable thing a Head of a Household would do? Knowing he’ll have a wife from that group and probably daughters? Would you respect that man?
A lot of these topics are an excuse to punch down (yes, down) at women and sound as bad as feminists.

There is no honour any more.
Men in particular lack poise.

Point to me a modern man with complete dignity.
Where is modern man’s integrity, as he insults women clubbing, but come Saturday night, guess where he is?

Turns out women with self-respect quickly lose interest in any man who negs them like a tart, degrades their entire sex casually and overall treats them like dirt and the cause of the world’s problems. Gee, I wonder why the bitter guys are single and only attract feminists….

WINTERY KNIGHT

Man helping a woman with proper handgun marksmanship Man helping a woman with proper handgun marksmanship

Dalrock blogged a splendid post about people who claim that there is a shortage of “good men”. He says that if there really were a shortage of good men, then people who want women to actually get married would be telling women not to delay marriage, but to instead get serious about marrying early, when their ability to attract a man is at its peak.

Dalrock writes:

We can see the same pattern in Dr. John Piper’s recent post Why Are Women More Eager Missionaries?*  Piper explains that missionary work has become a pink ghetto:

…the actual situation among most evangelical faith missions is that between 80–85% of all single missionaries are women. It is a rare thing, like two out of every ten, for a single man to make missions his life’s vocation, which results in the overall statistics being that one-third of those…

View original post 1,211 more words

Video: Fake “Nice Guy” moves, really manipulation

If you’re doing it for a reaction, you aren’t doing it to be ‘nice’ (endogenous, innate and continues to exist in every setting with any person or even alone).

They often try to seem ‘safe’ so you depend on them and they can abuse you (inc cheating). Run.

They care about looking good, too. So they won’t own up to their actions or play dumb and blind to the true cause. Run.

Men and women are not the same but we are equal in humanity. Nobody using anybody else.

Fake nice guys are crazy.
No, clinically. There is something wrong with them.
They can’t just be normal, they feel a need to control any interaction with a regular peer.

That’s crazy.

10 signs of a commitment-phobic man

They’re the ones thirty years from now wondering where his Dream Woman went and/or why she never showed up.

She married another man. It’s a competition. For female fertility. You lost it.

Timing is everything? You need to select from your age-peer group while the pickings are good (preferably below 30). Divorce risk increases with age gap.

http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2012/12/10-signs-of-a-commitment-phobic-man

“A man that doesn’t talk nicely about women has never felt like he was worthy of them, and probably spent many years feeling like he could not handle them.
Which means there is a good chance he doesn’t feel like he could handle you. Some men are just downright bitter and angry towards females and see them as a pain because they have felt rejected by them their whole lives.”

Slam dunk.

“Nature didn’t make us to be smart all the time; it made us to be as easily willing to have sex as possible with the man who got to our ears by sweet talking so we could pass on our genes and propagate the human species.”

“Some men just constantly blame women for things that go wrong in their life. There’s a legitimate reason for this; men don’t understand women; so they cannot handle them; and when they can’t handle them and they see their lives falling apart, then the EASIEST thing to do is look for someone to blame; a WOMAN!
See – If a man’s reaction to problems in the relationship is to blame you, or constantly point out where you went wrong, then you have a problem.”

“If a man talks badly about men who are married, or who are taking care of children, then it’s a pretty good sign he doesn’t care much for a deep commitment with a woman.”

It’s like a feminist saying how much she admires single mothers.

What is any sane man going to think of that?

R-types. Be vigilant.

For example, the single dating pool will contain almost all the misogynists, those who fear women*, a far higher proportion than the world at large. Very few trick a woman into an unhappy marriage and it rarely lasts. So yes, encountering more bad apples when dating is correct flagging but you need to spot and next those, to move onto the ones in your league.

* Yes fear. They fear women. They avoid women. Why avoid something inferior to you? Wanna know a secret?

Men are terrified of women. All of them. They rarely admit it and then just from the sides e.g. women are mysterious, women are crazy, I’ll never understand women. If it’s a descriptor you could apply to a bear, they’re scared. 

Are women intimidated by men? No. The trappings of success or the threat of violence.

Men are intimidated by talking to us alone, let alone in large groups. QED.