This is why we can’t have nice things

>Women look like women, normally.
>Harassment and stalking, male superficiality and baseness.

Pick one.

Nobody thinks you really want the number or a chat.
There’s only one type of woman that gets solicited in the street, everyone knows it’s an insult.

Anything less than full androgyny is not hooker attire.
Looking female =/= sexual? The most matronly women have worn skirt, dress or heels. It’s a cultural norm.

Don’t talk to strangers.

Not just etiquette for kids!

It is still weird to solicit (actual word meaning) strangers in the street for any purpose, whatever American comedians tell you. Some of us are raised better. Instant bad impression, whoever you are.

She missed out the schizo verbal abuse when you try to politely, passively avoid the pervert interrupting your day.

Imagine if someone at a bus stop called you a bastard for not talking to them. Multiple times a day.
Men would be horrified. Oh, and you can’t physically defend yourself or pepper spray them, and their revolting hands might grope you…

Because they liked your “outfit”.

Gee, why do so many women dress like shit, wear huge coats in public, avoid men or get fat?

Maybe…. men’s behaviour had something, some tiny, little, fleeting influence on that?

Ask yourself: is this something ghetto trash would do?

If so, never ever do it!

You know, if a woman likes you, she can talk to you first?

Or a hey if she didn’t notice you and you’re in the same place for a while?

Avoid the circle of personal space. She can close the gap.

If she keeps it short, move along. A minimal response is basic politeness, savoir vivre.

You never see men’s mags say “15 signs she isn’t interested”.

Subtitle: and how to make a classy exit.

This would be useful.

It explains the entirety of the problem, forcing a reaction (abuse). Kinda like putting your job interviewer in a headlock. One step down from kidnapping.

So what you really have in most cases are men with no idea how an adult is supposed to behave, think you can “tease” people like in school, and worst of all, that think you can talk someone into fancying them.

The fat girls can’t do it, neither can you. Nice guy = great personality. No.

Men over-estimate their attractiveness, excessively. Not fancying you isn’t a personality flaw, it should be expected (most humans don’t fancy most humans), especially when you’re enraged about it. Doesn’t strike the casual observer as sane.

Whether someone is single doesn’t matter. Maybe, just maybe, they aren’t a slut?
Look at the statistics, young people are sleeping around less than their elders.

Why?

Those elders (Boomers, Gen X, some Y) and the young vibrants that think porn is real constantly being lecherous at them might have something to do with it. Women do not work like men. Random compliments make us feel worse. We weren’t thinking about how we looked and suddenly this sleaze has an opinion, feels entitled to tell me and thinks I should respond to it?

Like a literal magic word? (how stupid do they think women are?)

Like insincere compliments are hard to get?

Bad compliments are insults.

Why?

They make a heap of degrading assumptions.

For instance, women wear “woman” clothes because actually, they’re physically practical! A low neckline ventilates a hot bust! A breezy skirt prevents thighs from chafing (even in thin, non-anorexic women). Do I have to explain the sweat benefits of sleeveless?

Women already know this, ask women you know about the practical reasons for wearing clothes. It has nothing to do with men and entirely what we like. Not melting in summer is among them. Women probably stopped fainting because we could get some sweet, sweet breeze circulation!
If you had two globules of fat on your chest overheating your core body temperature, like a heat pad on your heart [1], you’d want low-cut tops as well. In the Victorian era, this was understood to be the only part you could bare – for practical reasons! Nothing to do with showing off or sex. You’re a perv.

Lingerie ads tell men what we wear has anything to do with them. Not really.

Some women try to dress to avoid male attention and need to wear deodorant under the boobs. Some women with large ones, all over. All over the boob. Sexy, right?

Most women hate compliments because most are from strangers, shallow, rude and poorly thought out.

Street harassment is totally okay if we’re allowed to pepper spray or shoot them.
Since women are the physically weaker sex and a random guy walking up to anyone, m/f, is threatening. Whoever they are. When they seem interested in taking things, willing or not, suspicions are confirmed.

It’s like lending a mugger your wallet. No, we don’t want to “talk”/give a #/”go out”.

We want to walk down a public street, in public, as an unmolested member of the public.

Huge ask, I know.

Walking down a street isn’t an invitation to impose yourself on anyone – man/woman/child.

Think how weird it would be to a man or child. No less weird to a woman.

This used to be standard protocol throughout the entire First World until the 20th century.

I think a lot of you would be shocked by how polite I am IRL. Self restraint is important.

Observation:

If you compare the way schoolboys harass and intimidate one another, it’s exactly the same with street creeps.
Invasion of personal space, cutting off avenue of escape, forced conversation, rude comments, stupid questions, illegal touching, acting like you’re the one with the problem.

[1] do that experiment, internet! Men could not last more than an hour.

The irritating fact of boob ownership is in winter, you lose heat from them.

WHO DESIGNED THIS?

Comics: Misogyny and the double standard

To answer the 21st Century question Why don’t women try anymore?

without any reference to the dwindling quality of men.

I tag ‘homophobia’ because this is an accurate depiction of the real, older definition, which requires you be slightly homosexual but in denial about it. Not to be confused with the scientific, older definition which is also homoaversion. Otherwise, the same men laughing when feminists go on about ‘stare rape’ wouldn’t give a damn who looks at them, because there’s no chance of sex, so why care?

It’s strange to hear men say lewd comments aren’t insults but then ask them about their own history being bullied and suddenly words are important. Lewd people are rude expressly because they want to get negative attention and make the other person uncomfortable, and that, is bullying.

Protip for the socially inept: say nothing to do with the body per se. E.g. ‘nice dress’ is fine, ‘nice tits’ is obscene. ‘Pretty face’ is OK, ‘sit on my face’ is not, ever. Nothing you would hear in porn. It makes non-porn stars reach for the pepper spray. Women have to be paid to pretend to enjoy that. Think about it.

It’s our verbal IQ and it’s higher than you i.e. we hear more in your words than you put there on purpose. Yes, while nice dress may be a sneaky way to compliment bustline – we know this. It’s about respect as a human, not as a woman per se. If you treat someone as a reduced category, you are literally demeaning them for likely little purpose. Yes, this applies to men, because men is a category below human, the whole species. You can notice this in the hackles that come up when I type ‘Men are…’. It’s mean and rude and usually pointless. If they can’t help it, why mention it? If they can help it, just tell them the positive thing to do instead. If you don’t want them to correct it, you have no cause to gripe, per se.

I use per se too much, per se. It is unhelpful…. per se.

To every man who questions this reasoning, start complimenting the femininity of his features, especially if he has a fine bosom, and when he gets offended, tell him he should take it as a compliment.

By their logic, if another man tells them they have a tight, nice, firm backside, they have no right to be offended or feel creeped out or forbid, in DANGER, because rape is never preluded by taunting the victim, right? I mean, who’d get off on that, some sort of sexual predator? Also, it was your fault for wearing jeans, they’re too tight.

The system is rigged. The system is un-fair. You cannot win.
Why don’t women try anymore?

The only way to win is not to play.

We don’t tend to play into male power-trip fantasies [1] anymore because the whole system is against everyone, including women, and things like MGTOW are the ragequit from ‘why don’t they…’, ‘why won’t they….’ questions. Answer? People have agency. Men, women, leave them be. It’s called respect for human dignity. That’s why they’re almost perma-single and can’t keep any woman long enough for the narcissism to pop up like oral herpes.

1 Fantasies rigged by richer men, in suits. The greatest enemy of mankind is man himself. Yet they sit around navel-gazing about hemlines like the Fashion Police and wonder why women won’t touch them.

Re the clothes themselves e.g. she’s showing too much skin/asking for it, conformity is a female virtue.

Compliments vs. catcalling

Basically you’re calling the woman a whore and we know it, that’s why we ignore you.

http://www.mademan.com/compliment-women-without-skeeze-catcaller-predator/

Most catcallers are like dogs chasing cars. They wouldn’t know what to do with one when they catch one. But it comes from a tradition of prostitution.  Langston Hughes wrote about it while reporting on the Spanish Civil War in his excellent autobiography I Wonder as I Wander:

There is an old Spanish custom taken for granted that a man may whistle or even speak to a pretty girl on the street without offense … Only loose women even turn around to acknowledge such compliments. But with revolutionary zeal, some of the more ardent Loyalists ladies in Spain set out to put an end to what they felt was “intrusive and uncomradely” in the traditional Spanish way of flirting.  Women, they said were workers and citizens just like me, not mere objects of sex, and so should not be subjected to personal remarks from unknown admirers on the public streets.

Which is to say: Catcalling has been out of style since before WWII.

Here is the most important thing to know about dating/life/humanity: “Men’s greatest fear is that women will laugh at them, while women’s greatest fear is that men will kill them.” Margaret Atwood said this.

If you feel you need to speak to a stranger, don’t speak to them when they might feel vulnerable (alone, dark, at night, in a dodgy area) and ideally, get introduced by their social circle. This goes for women speaking to men as well’ it’s called manners. If you wouldn’t go up to them when with their friends, you don’t deserve their company because you wouldn’t fit into their class, why make it awkward for them knowing they have to reject you? Yet the ghetto types, lowest SES of all, and criminals to boot (so actually a physical danger), try to impose themselves on women. Imagine being a high SES male, walking along in a suit on the way to work minding your own business, and the homeless guys or unemployed kept following you, talking about how nice your suit was (maybe touching it, despite your protests) and threatening to mug you (oh, the things I could do with that money…). Money being a synonym for your body. That’s how it feels. You can’t be friendly with someone, unless you’re already friends, already acquainted. Stop calling it ‘friendly’, when it’s imposing. Dictionaries exist.
On the other hand, I’ve heard men frequently complain of large groups of women judging them and bothering them when alone, especially hen parties….yes, that’s how it feels, exactly. Except approaching a group is a choice, and comes with the possibility of rejection. You take a chance, it’s going to happen, the higher you aim, the more it happens. No need to bitch about it, though.

In public, you are just a normal citizen, and your rights to personal space need be respected.
Dressing well and taking care of yourself is expected, it’s normal, it isn’t an invitation to strangers like a prostitute. Those women will talk to you.

OT: sexual remarks are not flirting, they’re rude. Flirting is subtle.

All the more attractive women find it insecure, they just assume a man is interested, they don’t need to be told. We can read body language. And the desperation of hitting on women from a class band out of their league makes it quite funny, that they think it might impress us? Since when has poor impulse control impressed rich people?

What women hear;

WE WANT ATTENTION.
GIVE ME ATTENTION.
YOU WON’T LOOK AT ME UNLESS I’M SHOUTING AT YOU.

Quick Wisdom: Compliments and Insults

Compliments corrupt a person better than insults.

If you want to destroy someone, give them an inflated opinion of themselves and watch as they fail to live up to their own expectations. If you want to create something beautiful, you must begin with a foundation of realism because once you strip everything else away that is all that is left.

A beautiful outcome of these acceptance movements is that they will devour themselves from the inside.

Possible theories for the harmful effect of compliments: Spotlight Effect is increased, Self-efficacy is decreased, Ego grows and shift from growth strategy to maintaining social status e.g. as smart, instead of improvement strategy.