Redux: An Open Letter to Feminists Pushing In On Fandom Fun

formerly on ROQ, April 30, 2014, archived here:

go on moss popcorn

Hi, I see you there, over by the yaoi table. Brightly coloured hair to make you look interesting, long sleeves to hide self-harm and fake glasses or an ironic t-shirt. You’re new here. We can tell you’re new because you complain how we do things.

We don’t care about you. We’re here for the convention.

We don’t care about your opinions as they pertain to anything other than the material at hand. You don’t play Dark Souls? Well I guess your opinion on it is worthless. You haven’t read the “A Song of Ice and Fire“? There goes a whole conversation I wanted to engage in with you, out of the window, like Bran. Oh, I could go there and try to include you anyway, but you’ll accuse me of “trolling” (since you’re new to the surface net too) or ‘shaming’ because you don’t know what you’re talking about and I’m smart enough to notice: You’re a fake. Here for attention of you, you, you and whatever ‘issues’ you’re pushing to chew our ear with. Your intent is deceptive. You are a liar and a peddler. There are fakes in each hobby coasting along on false appearances and wow, just wow are you all about appearances.

You’re talking to people who immerse themselves in a fictional world as a hobby. We ‘go’ here to chill and forget about our everyday for a while. Exceptions have unhealthy obsessions requiring professional intervention and we avoid them overall. We don’t give a fig about real world woes while here and we resent being pestered/patronized with them by whiney losers who pretend to be our ‘friend’ (social manipulation) and pretend to be into the same stuff (a mild form of lovebombing) to then try and segue into an indoctrination on your pet policies (a cult of permanent irrational anger). You’re like a pusher on a street corner and we will never buy it. We’re too smart for you to convert to The Cause. I don’t care if you think Wonder Woman’s costume cut is sexist. She isn’t real! We get that, why don’t you?

You’re confusing fiction with reality or deliberately lying. If you think ‘solving’ fiction will solve your reality problems, you are deluded. Fiction per se is harmless and the purpose is entertainment. You have a monopoly on higher education, isn’t that enough? Regular people aren’t as impressionable as you. We have the ability to dissociate from viewing an act and carrying it out. Or does watching Girls make you a slut?

You take the fun out of everything. Nothing is allowed to be fun or funny. You squash what’s original or creative until it’s bland and mediocre. Why aren’t there more fat superheroes? Because superheroes are about idealization. Wonder Woman is genuinely Rubenesque because Rubens portrayed feminine curves in a flattering way. He didn’t glorify fat as beautiful, he glorified and sexualized the opulence of wealth, the one percent of his time paying his commissions, and fat was fashionable among the richest who could afford to waddle among the starving peasants. Your understanding of history, as everything else, is backwards.

You complain with the expectation that other people (usually evil men) will fix your problems for you. How is that either strong or empowered? You want “feminist” videogames? Make them! You can’t program? Learn! You won’t buy comics or games that don’t appeal to your ideology? No one does! If you aren’t consuming the products, the producers have zero reasons to care what you think. Become a productive member of the society or shut up.

We’re here to have fun and you’re pushing in. You’re trying to take away our release. Imagine if we shut down your activities on tumblr. You’d be on the warpath.

If you want to be accepted by us, you need to do two things.

  1. While at geek meeting places, talk about nothing with real world implications. We will never care.
  2. Realize no one cares about you specifically, we are defined by collective knowledge and channel your focus into the book/game/manga material of your choice. If most of your statements start with “I think” or “You should”, we will reject you. This has nothing to do with what you are, THAT IS THE POINT.

What do you know? What can you give? What are you doing?

If you cannot handle our subculture, you know where the door is. We call your bluff. You don’t want to leave. You want to control us. You want to be Queen of the Geeks. It would massage your bloated ego. You want to be accepted and adored without putting the work in and consuming the material. It takes years of moderate effort to become a real, true fan. You are a fake. You are posing for selfies with our stolen symbology, declaring to speak for us and deigning to speak down to us and it is offensive. We were bullied at school for that hobby, you didn’t care and now you appropriate it for yourself? How dare you.

I, and my fellow fans, pray that geek stuff is falling out of fashion. Why? We won’t have to put up with you people. You fakes and phonies and brats, who stamp your foot when you don’t get your own way. An entire subculture that existed before your birth isn’t about to change because you raised ‘awareness’ of ‘issues’ aka raised your voice. We respect creators and contributors. You are a hater and a parasite.

We know you’re a marketing gimmick, a wealthy demographic on Mummy’s money, a social construction with no authenticity and you hate that we can tell. You hate that we test you. You hate that you fail. You can’t even make it among us freaks, huh? The people you still bully and tease within our own ‘safe spaces’ for the lifestyle you are attempting to emulate. Hurts, doesn’t it, when we reject you? We don’t expect you to know everything, but we expect you to know some things. Some basic things which allow you into our club. You choose to remain ignorant. You can’t come in.

When we do fall out of fashion, as it’s inevitable, where will you be? Will you publicly and loudly proclaim you’ll stick with us? Will you bet money? Your precious reputation?

Or will you slink away to the next thing NY scene kids and Hampstead hipsters decided was alternative? Creeping like weeds, worms or leeches.

We all know what you’ll do. Every subculture dreads your plague. You’ll probably flip us off while leaving, saying how you never wanted to be accepted by us “losers” anyway. You were just kidding. You wouldn’t be seen dead with us before our subculture got on TV and billboards. We remember. You have no loyalty and you will forever be chasing happiness. We pity you. Leave us to our bliss.


A real geek, who happens to be a girl and who works in STEM. Take that, bitches.