Prime example why women need social protection.
Christians need to talk about this or our own group is a sitting, gullible duck.
Lies have legal consequences.
A few obvious points, obvious to fellow K-types.
Never marry an addict.
Porn is cheating. (see Bible)
Porn destroys marriages. (because adultery is the thrill)
“The coldest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life is the lying eyes of the man I love, gazing deep into my soul as multiple lies rolled from his lips. He knew it was all a lie, but for some reason, he could look at the woman he claimed to love so dearly straight in her eyes, and lie to her face. I never knew until that moment how unconsciously cold a single person could be.”
A liar for years? Congratulations, you avoided a miserable marriage to a filthy narcissist. Being married to one of those (m/f) can make you wish you were dead, if you read countless online accounts, so God was protecting you from that.
To lie multiple times (and every day) plus once caught? Narc.
Possibly psychopath, since he only seemed to value her as a status object (wife).
Good women can still be treated like dirt by burned out r-types pretending to be traditional to cash out and “have it all” (but once the novelty has worn off, they cheat and get divorced anyway, they just wanted the status – women can do it too). Women have a right to know and avoid bad marriage prospects. (As do good men from bad women).
“betrayal trauma occurs when someone we depend on for survival or are significantly attached to, violates our trust in a critical way.”
A divorce would be Christian in this case, if they had married because 1. he was depicting himself in “false light”, she didn’t know who she was marrying. Plus the abuse psychologically from the cheating (2, betrayal trauma) and the addiction itself (3, which causes brain damage).
He portrayed himself as a good, honest man to trick her into legal wedlock.
Good honest women need to be protected from this type. She was true.
He didn’t even know what love is!
Makeup you can wash off. Lies void contracts. His narc mirroring caused her emotional bond, she never really fell for him because there is no him. There’s nothing in there! No person!
Narcs prefer to bond with empaths so good women must be especially vigilant. They assume you’ll be like a replacement mother figure and never leave them, you see. There’s logic. Whatever abuse, a mother’s love is eternal.
You can’t have a good marriage and Christian life + children with an r-type.
They are never satisfied in ANY marriage, it’s the nature of personality disease!
If they could change, they’d have done it before you met or they’d be prudent enough to never get an addiction in the first place.
Narcissists run the Bird with a Broken Wing routine, don’t fall for it.
Send them to a shrink, don’t play Mommy! Your husband is supposed to be the one caring for YOU.
Professionals have to train and gain the ability to prescribe serious meds for this! You can’t talk it out!
The level of psychopathic disdain to lie to her and plan this deception over years…. likely psychopath.
I bet he randomly showed up at a church to go wife-hunting (yes, hunting) because a PUA forum told him to. AVOID the crazy. Peeple was a good idea – as a courtship app. It replicates an honour culture, where reputation is well known.
Imagine hiring a business partner and finding out they have a criminal record. Like that only a very intimate betrayal. Possibly rape by fraud. Possibly. Note her disgust at the mask drop. Solid K response.
Psychopaths’ MO is to hide who they really are (for years) until AFTER the marriage. So you can’t run.
All other mental illness typically presents before a wedding so a psycho is literally every man/woman’s worst nightmare as a fiance/e.
Get a background check. If they get defensive, immediately break it off.
False light on wikipedia doesn’t discuss marital fraud anymore (bring it back, Trump!) but there are others.
a misrepresentation is an untrue or misleading statement of fact made during negotiations by one party to another, the statement then inducing that other party into the contract.
Marriage is a contract.
The misled party may normally rescind the contract, and sometimes may be awarded damages as well (or instead of rescission).
The definition of fraud in the context of divorce law varies between states. Generally, it means that one spouse grossly misrepresented issues so important that the other spouse would not have married him had she known the truth. For example, when a husband tells his wife before they married that he had never been married before and she discovers after the marriage that he was lying. His lie about his previous marriage may be considered fraud, especially if the wife can show that she would not have married him had she known this was his second marriage. Little white lies usually do not constitute fraud.”
Precisely. Christian expectations for a Christian marriage. It’s very simple.
Lies have legal consequences, degenerates.
Marriage is all about who/what you are. You lie about that, clear-cut case of fraud. K-types deserve legal protection. R-types shouldn’t care because they don’t want to marry!
Do we have to get them to sign a legal disclaimer that they haven’t falsely represented themselves?
Isn’t the marriage contract enough?