Saviour complex and toxic relationships

Something I don’t want to mock, excellent!
You’d think for the part of the internet that goes on, and on, and ON about victim complex, they’d also cover literally the other half?

https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/10/savior-complex-toxic-relationship/

“If you want to be the savior, you’re essentially saying to your partner that you see them as a project to be fixed.

Even if the challenge of their flaws isn’t the primary reason you’re attracted to them and even if they want your help, it still sends the message that you think they need to improve and better themselves somehow.

First of all, you’re dating someone, not flipping a house. You might convince them to make minor lifestyle changes, but you can’t expect them to completely overhaul themselves. It’s a little bit condescending to treat them as your personal pet project.

Unless you’re at least psychologically healthy, don’t. Sick people make other sick people even sicker.

Maybe they do want to make changes. Maybe they do have a certain goal in mind. That’s great. Allow them to accomplish something on their own. You can support them without spoon-feeding them.”

Don’t throw off the power dynamic, it’s unhealthy and neither one will be happy.

“You’re their partner, not their parent.”

And there it is.
Paging Doctor Freud…

“Second of all, your partner might be perfectly fine with the way they are and not want to make any changes. If you look for flaws as a means of finding a purpose or direction for the relationship, that speaks more to issues you might want to address within yourself.”

This is a male problem in particular. Hoe > Housewife? Hoe isn’t short for housewife.
They’re a person, they aren’t a broken car. Fix, repair, review are not words you apply to people.
You need to like them and they need to relax and be human around you without panicking you’re jotting a performance review in your head.

You may laugh but I’ve seen a lot of men do just that and wonder why every woman resents them. They intellectualize their controlling tendencies for ego. Golden rule, dudes. They never ‘improve’ other men.

Rescuers have a condition, the expectation you’ll save them back. In abundance of their effort.
It isn’t altruistic unless you mean the pathological kind. It’s calculating and dishonest.
This is why you pay therapists, the motive to help is clear.

If one person is Dad, but Tyrannical Dad, and always right, you’re wrong to be with them. They don’t want a relationship, they don’t want to relate and be vulnerable, they want an assistant.
If they can’t see themselves clearly, they can’t see you over their issues.

“Your partner is not your therapist, nor are they obligated to heal your past wounds.”
^This.

Where do they learn this? Ally McBeal?
I’ve seen men complain woman B, C, D… was evil because they didn’t ‘prove’ they were different from woman A. That’s an issue with woman A. Your issue. Especially if she’s your mother. Without woman A, you’d see those others clearly. They’ll never fix it or admit they seek rescue because it would mean being humble and accepting weakness or wounds. Avoiding help isn’t impressive, ’tis but a scratch, right?
Don’t get me started on the ones so jaded and terrible they’ve managed to turn the greatest thing in LIFE, into a child’s game.
Better to punch yourself in the nuts repeatedly, it’d hurt less.

Even if you do save them, what then? You have nothing in common anymore.

If they’re perfect, why would they stick around with you, the one who thought they were broken, instead of moving onto someone better? Objectively better.

Why hate on fairytales? The originals were hardcore. Anyone who believes the Disneyfied versions is already too simple to educate.

Video: I’m not sorry

Sorry for what? It isn’t a crime to be white.

You can only be sorry for doing something wrong.
I’ve done nothing wrong, so …..no.
Being something wrong is dehumanization. Itself, a wrong.
No guilt from this one, thanks. The Original Sin isn’t whiteness.
Anything less than healthy self-possession is emotional blackmail. Gaslighting to instill self-loathing and reduce ingroup trust and prosocial behaviours.
Nobody should feel guilty for existing.

Especially when their culture and peoples have contributed so much to an ungrateful world.

I don’t go to any other country and tell them I know what’s best for them. Infantilisation, stonewalling, derailment, plenty of common abuse techniques are used on this topic.

Either we’re better – in which case, privilege, and you should avoid us.

Or we’re worse, in which case, you shouldn’t be spitting on us, pitying it, but again, avoid us and don’t invade our homelands.

Finally, history is meant to be discussed, compared, contrasted, claims weighed and such. It isn’t a faith.

Most whites aren’t even German so this Holocaust guilt is bullshit. If London expelled the ones currently here then maybe you’d have a case, perhaps.

Traits of toxic people and PUA/’game’ gaslighting

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201608/8-common-traits-the-toxic-people-in-your-life
” They focus on problems, not solutions.”
e.g. Critical theory and being ‘unhelpful’ for…?
“They use other people to accomplish whatever their goal happens to be.”
e.g. PUAs. Formal term is triangulation, they tell you what you want to hear.
“They make you prove yourself to them.” You only qualify yourself to a superior, peer must be assumed until proven and isn’t based on a demographic factor, it’s individual. In the reverse…
e.g. Everyone who says, in effect ‘I dislike your opinion, so you’re part of outgroup’, a no true scotsman.
“Beware of people who find fault with you and make you wrong. Loyalty is foreign to them.”
They’re never wrong, are they? 😀
“Toxic people often make you want to fix them and their problems. They want you to feel sorry for them, and responsible for what happens to them. Yet their problems are never really solved, for once you’ve helped them with one crisis, there’s inevitably another one. What they really want is your ongoing sympathy and support, and they will create one drama after another in order to get it. “Fixing” and “saving” them never works, especially since you probably care more about what happens to them than they do.”

It’s good I already mentioned pick-up and ‘game’ because it actually follows the stages of gaslighting abuse.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201704/the-7-stages-gaslighting-in-relationships

I’ll illustrate with examples, where possible.
1. Women are worthless. Counter: then why are you obsessed with them? You don’t base your life around something worthless. [They don’t want women to be happy without them and without being their hookers, hence the contradiction with the Western value of liberty and tradition of not being promiscuous and degenerate (applies to both sexes). They implicitly believe ‘Women should be forced to sleep with me’. Hold up there, Mohammed! They bought into the lie of porn – all women want you and they’re ‘playing hard to get’. Sexual entitlement is the secret of a loser’s desperation. The women in porn are paid to act interested, even they’re not. They also conveniently forget a supposedly desirable harem is marriage, with Middle Eastern duties on the man, the man is 100% financially responsible and the women don’t work. They refuse to get married once and object to that polygamy because it reduces nubile supply.]
2. Women are (various bad things, implying men are not). No proof, no comparison of data from both sexes. Long opinion pieces. Counter: Differentiate that from sexism. [Third-wave Feminists do this stuff too, but everyone’s already explaining that.] Negging doesn’t even work, just look at their ‘success rate’. The terms are so Orwell.
3. (They literally tell their followers –cult– to escalate whatever criticism comes their way after attention-whoring –peacocking-, so I don’t need to put anything here. They literally use the word escalate, even when what they’re escalating e.g. ‘kino’, code for physical contact, is illegal aka assault). Search PUA+game+”escalate”
4. Aside from continuation long after it’s socially acceptable, stalking, doxing and harassment, I’d also include dogpiles and other ways to get their internet boyfriends involved to keep punching down. Because punching down, 5 or more against 1 is so much better? ‘Amused mastery’ isn’t what it sounds like, it’s the denial and dickishness women uncannily and universally despise about just these guys, since they refuse to admit any useful point (brick wall) and deny-deny-deny while claiming women are the ones denying reality. They laugh at the frustration, like children, oblivious to how stupid they objectively look (also to other men).
5. Google “dread game” it’s literally this stage. Seriously.
6. ‘Beta game’ aka pretending to be a decent person for a little while. Narcissists do this already but male borderlines need to be told how to imitate it, to get the supply they need. Most ‘game’ is feigning K-selected characteristics that are evolutionally desirable while hiding what they really are, that’s why they burn out like the psychopaths they stupidly admire – it’s one big act. They pretend being fake men for years is a strength and sunk cost means they never admit it. That’s what all the ‘macho man’ fake masculinity spiel is, they’re trying to convince themselves of the delusion. Ask them how their mother’s doing. Better yet, ask her WTH happened.
7. Look up all the quotes and forum topics on ‘game’ sites describing all women as whores that want to be raped and choked, specifically. Sometimes beaten, with fists or a belt. They really do think this, they’ve projected all their desensitized sick porn habits on the Evil Lilith Judaism myth. Men don’t dominate women, they never have, they work with women on mutually agreed upon goals, the sexes cooperate or those examples die. They’re thinking of sexual domination because they don’t think with Upstairs Brain.

In effect, these males want sex slavery without the balls to run their own life, a Mommy replacement. Remember, one of Mohammed’s ‘wives’ (captive slaves) poisoned him.

They’re not joking when they say they don’t want women to have rights because they don’t see women as human. In which case, their sexuality is dubious (bestiality? which religion is that common to again?) and they can’t expect women to do any work, including childcare. Let alone their ‘share’ of the housework.

‘Game’ proponents pretend to teach the socially inept how to find wife material. They lie to other men to make shekels and seem respectable. That’s why I did the still-popular post on What does it get you? Less than the average guy, guessing. That’s without going into the brown caste of most game practitioners, desperate in their White and Blonde fetishes/Fevers. But sure, it’s the women gagging for you, huh? They don’t select for the quality or marriage, those males (not men) don’t see it, don’t value or respect it and couldn’t keep it if it managed to fall from the sky to their lap. They sexually select (DARWIN) for cheapness, easiness and sluttiness. No wonder they keep finding women to be sexually damaged, emotionally disturbed (the ones attracted to them) and disloyal. They’re signalling what they are. Birds of a feather…

Remember!

The one common denominator in all your failed relationships, is you.

Video: How to get offended

Status signalling, the modern fainting couch. Pass the salts, Ruth!

It’s a tantrum, pick the most trivial thing and nag anyone around you about it because Power is evil. It’s weirdly fascist to argue who should get what from a position of equality.

PC, the never-ending euphemism treadmill and doublespeak of modern sin.

A very passive aggressive censorship.

A self-righteous indignation.

Look up the definitions of bigot and gaslighting and see if you can spot a difference.

There is no right answer to get.

You should know what you did.” [1] followed by what they hope is a stern, disapproving, matronly expression. I have experienced that. They deny Burden of Proof habitually. Any personal responsibility, really. The ‘I can’t believe you just said that’s [2] of the world.

1 The correct answer is I am not a telepath, adults talk about things, Sue. Now do you want your rattle or will you just throw it out the pram again? Also acceptable is Okay, Mom since it’s creepy and Freudian, like them.

2 The correct answer is I can believe that. like they are the dumbest person you ever met (they’re certainly a candidate). Alogia works excellently on SJWs, considering most of them have thought disorders and intellectual disabilities and do it themselves [3]. Two walls, talking. Have fun chiding yourself.

3 In before ‘that’s abuse’: they start it, they know what stonewalling is, they intend to humiliate you like a sociopath and it is unprompted, a coward’s mode of attack. Treat them like the emotional children they are and give them a taste of their bitter medicine. Ultimately, this is why ignoring them works, since they dearly crave attention.

I’m not a racist but-

rracistjustifypedo

Tumblr can be very based.
A visual demonstration of why ad hominem and poisoning the well don’t work, also see the Trump administration.

Instead these people try to gaslight us that our realpolitik concerns are bigoted/uneducated and hence, not REAL. Politics is simply returning to its historical norm, that’s why nobody can stop it, it’s becoming local again. It’s anti-globalist, the failed experiment that led to multiculturalism and mass immigration because capitalist workers are interchangeable and fuck min. wage laws in the First World. Globalism is supranational, Global Capitalism. You think they’d give a shit about third world countries if they had banned child labour? Controlled their population of future child workers? But when they’re adults, they’re more expensive and can revolt, better send them to Europe. They got no factories there. Fuck the First World poor, let’s be like China and enslave our children or cause the prole workers to commit suicide rather than put together Tracy’s iPhone so she can protest capitalism, Starbucks in hand. ‘omg your problems aren’t real u loser. sad!’

whitegenocideacademia

The K-shift is exposing them like a storm exposes worms.

This, after Hillary Clinton used the term in a major speech.

That one slip of a searchable term might’ve handed Trump the White House.

Do you really think Democrats have the level of political engagement or attention to watch those whole speeches? The MSM redpilled against itself. At this point, they’re just making shit up because reporting reality is too hard.

That’s when you feign a sucker punch to the face but swiftly kick them in the nuts. Obvious!

the art of war is deception, young  shitlords sithlords

it’s based on-

it’s based

If racism is possible against the global minority of white people, it can’t be used to guilt trip because it’s no longer exclusive, like an EBT card.

Nobody else has made this connection to globalism yet, I’m the first.

Ask: Who pays the people guarding the borders?

Even the reddest Commie will listen to the economic argument therein. Globalism pits the poor of every country against one another in a war for profit for pigs.

As for me?

I set up the dominoes to watch them fall, dude.

chaos

If I can do a little good with my god-tier destruction abilities, yippy kai yay.

I’m not here for celebrity, I’m here to change history.

How can I cut them in such a way that it’ll still hurt in fifty years’ time?
Verbal shivs are legal and I find that racist. Bitchy putdowns are homosexual art.
Memes are education for the morally and verbally impaired.

shitposting

ah yes toast drinking damon ian nodding

Who suspects the girl? Sexist bitches.

Every time I hear something terribly untrue about my kind, assuming I’m azure-pilled;

sickofyourshit

literally me

hide teh power level

soon baby

soon

Abuse, rage and SJWs

Minor points. I saw a woman having a particular problem and this is an expanded version of what I told her.
Rage is a choice to hurt others because one’s feelings are hurt in a perceived slight. There is no such thing as ‘out of control’, you are not possessed. We may feel an urge to jump off a cliff, but it’s just an urge.

SJWs are not offended, they are outraged. Narcissistic rage, to be precise. If Trigglypuff were a 300-pound MMA fighter, would her tantrums be harmless? Funny? This is not funny, whoever exhibits this behaviour. It is very serious. Even children are capable of crime up to murder. This should be mocked but not tolerated and never considered harmless. It’s antisocial behaviour. It’s verbal abuse and all sorts of other related things, including intimidation, an attempt to control by threats (in this case, to lose their rag).

It is entirely conscious, and in fact, planned.
They plan to do these things, and hence, when thwarted, seek revenge.
Common sense: You don’t seek revenge for accidents.

First stop: gaslighting the victim into thinking they’re abusive for reacting with boundaries. Called playing victim. It’s a version of playing dumb. It’s a bluff in poker terms. Turns into a game of Who Started It, as if that justifies any form of abusive behaviour (no, never). They are children emotionally. Do not pity them, do not help them. In fact, it’s healthier to punish them but by omission, cutting them out. Get the police involved, narcissists despise authority. Cut off supply, get justice the honest way afterward. Stop them victimizing others but do not gossip. Best done by law enforcement. This isn’t school, you need to snitch.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201205/is-rage-choice

The violent toward those they claim to love cannot express love. They may not even feel it (psychopaths). They can feel relief from control over something external to compensate for their weakness, the power dynamic they ‘confuse’ for love, and also call their inner issues a matter of external cause (e.g. you made me hit you for misbehaving, as if they’re your parent instead of an equal). Rage is a red flag to do something. Before civilization, this meant killing the threat. We are not like other animals. We all have control, this cannot be denied. If you are an adult and have the privileges, like driving and voting, you have duties too. There is no excuse for abuse.

If they deny their agency with excuses, they belong in an asylum because obviously, they cannot take care of themselves and present a danger to themselves and others. 

Repeated provocations are common so they have a legal defense. Report these people for provocation and watch them run for the hills. I’ll bet there’s a long list of people with similar complaints, seek them out and file together.

Don’t play parent, you are not responsible for such people. They are adults. They need to stop leaning on other people and check themselves into some therapy. If they refuse therapy, it’s just another ploy to keep control.

There is no such thing as Magically Disappearing Agency. It doesn’t fluctuate, it’s there or not. Either you are responsible for ALL of what you do, or you should be in State Custody, in therapy or prison.

I thought I’d post this quick one before I go.

Gaslighting comics and other funnies

gaslightcomic1

gaslightcomic2

They have a tell. “No you’re not“, whatever the topic and they’ll try to make you feel stupid.
They try to tell you what you’re (supposedly really) feeling, or that what you’re feeling is wrong. Feelings can’t be wrong, facts causing feelings can be wrong but again, there is a clear demarcation. It comes down to a 100% logical truth: Another person cannot know your mind better than you can. Anyone who claims otherwise is gaslighting you. 

(For this reason, you will never hear a psychologist deny your experience, they will simply work with what you’ve got).
However gaslighting may be claimed by people who want to lie for attention and later claim other reasons. If you’ve got proof their ‘memory’ is wrong, they’re in the wrong. Sometimes manipulative people want you to take their version of events, with varying levels of awareness about how much they’re manipulating. That’s right, many gaslighters have little awareness about what they’re doing, and deny-deny-deny if they feel the slightest gain is to be had. Narcissists may use gaslighting without a conscious awareness of what they’re doing, like a deceptive fugue, better known as a ‘selective memory’. They’ll manipulate and even with dripping knife in hand, will always play victim, sometimes claiming to be gaslight victims themselves, or justifying themselves commonly with “She deserved it.” As if anyone deserves any form of abuse. That they can treat someone they ‘loved’ with such cruelty, someone intimate and personal, that they took personal revenge? You’re dealing with an omega, lowest of the low.
The two types of narcissist act differently but both play Victim to control others: the covert kind often self-diagnoses (no, don’t do that) to control the narrative of their own life and use this ‘diagnosis’ as an excuse to control others. Frequently female.
The overt narcissist Plays the Psychologist (without qualifications, obviously), diagnosing everyone who disagrees with them as some form of ‘crazy’ (as if mental illness is an insult and sign of personal weakness). This type are more often male and almost always think of themselves a superior version of Freud (who, as we know had Mother Issues), so they often go for women they believe they can break, psychologically, and put back together in their model of Perfect Woman. First they minimise your experience before completely denying it. Naturally, this never works and she leaves him eventually. They become more bitter and sadistic as time goes on. They like Freud because they mistake it for an easy way to blame with a veneer of social acceptability.
Bear in mind the key question: If this person is so crazy, why do you want them?

For couple there is a simple way to smoke the rats out.
If they are actually ‘crazy’, why don’t you want to see a psychologist together?
You see, they don’t want the psychologist to see their interactions, what they’re doing, because the psychologist has legally and socially valid opinions on what is crazy, although I have seen men try to gaslight female psychologists. Yep, scumbags. Exactly the same type to complain about how they never find the Right Woman (defined in real terms as a sex slave happy when emotionally abused, if you ask for details) and how it’s an injustice because they’re so ‘sweet’, when in the same bloody sentence they casually refer to us all as ‘whores’ (regardless of behavior). Does that sound oddly specific? Yes, yes it does. It’s a tell with 100% reliability. Berating the entire sex because you can’t get 1 (ONE) is desperate countersignalling (‘I didn’t want one anyway’… sure you didn’t).

gaslighting

“You’re (personal insult).” or “You’re not offended (as an order).” = dismissive, judgemental, definitive, gaslighting
I think (self-ownership) your reasons (distinction) for being offended (valid emotion) might (room for error) be mistaken (outcome).” = not gaslighting

gaslighting gaslight2

Translation: She doesn’t trust my version of events above her own direct experience of events. I’ve seen them deny text messages, honestly.
Of the man with ‘crazy exes’ ask yourself: what are the odds they were ALL crazy, if so, why did he pick them? Or did he make them crazy?

gaslightinggolbat

They tend to select introverted victims because those people naturally question themselves. If they’re too busy looking within for the problem, how can they look at the person next to them?
If you’re in this situation, you have my sympathy, ask yourself: Did these problems start when he showed up?
Gaslighters despise self-confidence, self-respect, any form of dignity (differentiates you from them) and happiness (when you’re happy, they’ll tear you down, test it by pretending to be happy for no reason and watch their reaction).
You need to establish clear personal boundaries and be willing to walk if you don’t get your needs met.
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/07/the-importance-of-personal-boundaries_18.html

38d2d8e25150847ef35329a1611dfb0af2f0354e7e13d3054c6e451be57d0593_1

Somewhat connected to mansplaining before the concept was taken too far (dismissing a man’s opinion on a non-female-exclusive topic on the basis of being a man), really it’s where a man assumes he knows more on a topic, any topic – because he is a man, and attempts to browbeat you under the guise of teaching. This is like a subtle form of gaslighting but is light enough to be done naively, it can become true abuse with time and constitutes a red flag for this reason. The concept is amusing if only for all the mansplainers who deny it vociferously, then make it personal when it wasn’t even aimed at them, which actually proves its validity as a concept. By definition, they hate it when you point out what they’re doing (like gaslighters).
Mansplaining: because a Y chromosome is not a qualification. 

Gaslighters do the opposite, it’s more advanced, they make everything about you because it’s personal. Most egregious are the ones where he pretends you’re too dumb to understand his argument (why socialize at all then?) when you reject it because you happen to be an expert (gaslighters deny any form of expertise not connected with them), and/or use their feelings (bless) as the barometer for what yours should be (solipsism).

…The actual crazies deserve one another. Leave them be.

Sorry this turned into an advice post but I thought What If someone in that scenario found this page by accident and couldn’t help myself.

Another final test for a gaslighter is to joke they’re gaslighting you, while they’re doing it. If they fly into a rage (and know exactly what that is), that’s a positive. “How could you?” they’ll turn. If they look confused, “Why?” they may be in denial or Mr Expert may be playing dumb, something along the lines of “I think I know my own mind better than you” is appropriate, delivered cheekily. If they logically explain why they aren’t, with proof, they’re either fine or a sociopath (good at rationalization, most people can’t tell the difference between that and logic).