There’s a lot of sweeping assumptions here. There are less quality people. People. Men and women, but since most of aren’t bi, we tend to fixate on the opposite sex. However, due to economic factors alone, even the good ones aren’t getting established financially until their 30s, something Aaron Clarey covered at some point. Combine with other facts like dual incomes are needed based on cost of living, cost of children/a child being more than a house and especially if the woman earns a lot more, she needs to work part-time. There’s nothing wrong with men doing some childcare duties however, we’ve heard for years from men how easy and fun it is and I’m sure they’re mostly just as good at it. However, aside from culture (people used to marry in their 20s, not teens, to establish themselves socially) it’s a hard economic issue. It’s money first, then culture telling us the bachelor lifestyle is good instead of degenerate, and finally, the issue which cannot be rushed unless you want higher divorce rates – finding someone not just of quality, but someone in that already narrow band where you’re both good for each other and can work together, similar ideals etc.
They need to get married probably, but more important is to stay married.
There’s a heavy blaming tone in pointing the finger at women for what is The Domain of men. How many bachelors have you known that just gave up? That is pathetic. Such a person doesn’t deserve the title adult, let alone man. Is their behaviour not their own fault? Who’s got hypoagency now? And these are meant to be the strong community leaders we’re supposed to respect and swoon over? The guys parked in front of porn and video games, so inspirational. And often the guys giving out this advice mock the married.
Anyone delaying on purpose deserves to be alone. It’s the secretary problem. But that’s all the Have it All crowd.
Imagine how a man and a woman from the 40s would look at your life. If they wouldn’t respect you, why should modern people? It’s a social kind of horseshoe theory where the women who disapprove of modern man the most are either feminists – or heavily traditional. Lumping the latter in with the former, don’t wonder why we avoid you for being too aspie to know the difference between criticism and penis envy.
Men do not deserve respect for existing, nobody does. What goes on between engaged/married people is their private business, these are adults we’re discussing.
The Peter Pan issue is real, I’ve heard a lot of young women bemoan the snowflake men in our generation refuse to grow up (and move into full adulthood). You complain that people can’t cook and other self-reliance, everyone should know those things, okay. But how many 30-somethings still act like teenagers? Is that acceptable? Where’s the shame? I bet the number of times you called them on their shit approaches ZERO.
It’s completely traditional to ask a biological man to man-up. Not to marry just anyone for the sake of it, and he controls the selection, not her, but at least start acting like an adult on most fronts. Is that SO much to ask for??
How is a woman supposed to date adult men when none exist in her age group? They may be biological adults, but psychologically they’re thirteen. How is he supposed to keep a family when he can’t keep his sock drawer clean? When will the men self-police and decide on some kind of common standard before bitching about how they’re entitled to XYZ in a woman, as if sperm is the more expensive, evolutionally valuable quantity here (we know that’s a lie and it puts us off you because you don’t get It) and as if women don’t commit more in our fertility (physically, literally) and in pure manhours (irony, we give up basically the rest of our lives, men have breaks from the home). Women follow men. No suitable men? …’Where are all the women’, they ask? Waiting for men to get their act together, that’s where! We shouldn’t have to tell you to be men, that’s how dire the maturity situation is. Mentioning this makes me very uncomfortable and that’s why I’m cautious not to be too specific because this is for men to decide amongst themselves, taught by living examples, not some conceited guys with opinions on marriage who can’t keep a girlfriend over two years. Find your role models who are living it and learn the only way that works.
I heard recently a guy made a stupid mistake and people said ‘aw, he’s just 21’ like he was 12! No, if you’re old enough to vote and die for your country, you’re old enough not to fuck up. The only reason we have special snowflakes is cos the culture keeps giving them sympathy instead of a slap from reality. Bring back adult standards – for all adults. Fairly common sense stuff.
Oh and those supposed ‘good men’ don’t want to commit anymore. At all. To anyone. There are 18yo ‘good’ men, who refuse to commit, like the feminists of yore, thinking they can play the field, Have it All, and scoop up the same quality woman just sitting around waiting for him like a bobbing duck once they’ve racked up STDs past their sexual peak (18 for men). Despite the weaker pair bonding/family loyalty offered by all types of sluts, inc men. Did I mention the rampant porn addiction too? Cos that’s cheating, the brain doesn’t know the difference. Men offer the commitment, that isn’t women’s fault. So it isn’t so much a case of when will the women settle down and your forefathers would’ve laughed you out the room for loading that question, as why won’t the men propose to anyone? What’s wrong with them or their life? Since men control the proposal, the lower marriage rate is directly their fault.
“And they think they’re entitled to some goody-two-shoes wife, that another, better man would otherwise be assigned socially?…
They think they can Have It All like SATC scum? This doesn’t happen, and a manwhore has a high divorce risk too. Nothing to do with the woman. You can’t be a player and settle down, they’re mutually exclusive lifestyles and mindsets. Your brain is literally wired differently. The studies show they’re dissatisfied whichever wife they do get because they’ve been spoiled sexually. Spoiled. Like an apple. Rotten.” source
Your question is wrong so you’re all asking one another questions about female psychology instead of actually listening to women. Sausage fest won’t tell you anything you dunno already. If you wanna intellectually masturbate one another, fine, go ahead, sorry to interrupt. However, your question’s false and loaded with incorrect priors. If you want something to chew on and resolve this problem than merely talk about it, listen up.
In sum, it isn’t Why won’t women marry men and follow their lead?
As it is;
- Why won’t adult men act like it?
- Where are the male role models living the dream?
- Why won’t men propose?
- Why can’t men keep a family?
- Why do men feel entitled to XYZ like a social contract and what is their payment due for receipt of these things?
- Why can’t a man find a woman who respects him?
- Why do men expect a woman who doesn’t fully respect him is a good marriage candidate and how much of the blame is his?
- Why don’t modern women respect the modern man and his lifestyle and what can be done to raise standards all around?
- Which behaviours are to blame for this and how does each sex contribute to these?
- Should we emphasize marriage for all, at what age, under what conditions, when is divorce permissible and what about everyone else? Should people wait until meeting the right One and how can this process of courting be sped up and how many children should married couples be encouraged to have and when?
If you ignore all those questions, no wonder you go round in circles like dogs chasing your tails.
Is bitching about people the respectable thing a Head of a Household would do? Knowing he’ll have a wife from that group and probably daughters? Would you respect that man?
A lot of these topics are an excuse to punch down (yes, down) at women and sound as bad as feminists.
There is no honour any more.
Men in particular lack poise.
Point to me a modern man with complete dignity.
Where is modern man’s integrity, as he insults women clubbing, but come Saturday night, guess where he is?
Turns out women with self-respect quickly lose interest in any man who negs them like a tart, degrades their entire sex casually and overall treats them like dirt and the cause of the world’s problems. Gee, I wonder why the bitter guys are single and only attract feminists….
Dalrock blogged a splendid post about people who claim that there is a shortage of “good men”. He says that if there really were a shortage of good men, then people who want women to actually get married would be telling women not to delay marriage, but to instead get serious about marrying early, when their ability to attract a man is at its peak.
We can see the same pattern in Dr. John Piper’s recent post Why Are Women More Eager Missionaries?* Piper explains that missionary work has become a pink ghetto:
…the actual situation among most evangelical faith missions is that between 80–85% of all single missionaries are women. It is a rare thing, like two out of every ten, for a single man to make missions his life’s vocation, which results in the overall statistics being that one-third of those…
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