Beware fake trad man

I’m not naming names but sudden engagements are doomed to misery.

https://www.bolde.com/14-little-things-look-like-love-actually-manipulation/

7. HE WANTS TO START A FAMILY. This is obviously a normal, lovely thing to want, but watch how it’s done. If his goal is to have a family so that you can quit working and stay at home with the baby, in a home far away from where your loved ones are, it could be part of his plan to isolate you and take control of your life: he’ll be controlling your whereabouts, your finances and everything else soon enough.

10. HE TELLS YOU HOW MUCH BETTER YOU ARE THAN OTHER WOMEN. You might see it as a compliment when he says all his exes were psychotic but you’re so much better than them. Hey, maybe you’re the best woman he’s ever met. These can be compliments, but not if he’s showing signs of being sexist and discriminatory. He might say, “Women are so [insert negative adjective here], but you’re not like them.” Um, hello? You’re a woman! It’s damn insulting.

etc.

Husband selection is more important than just getting married.

A chimp could get married in Vegas – probably.

I have a pet theory these women become this type after a few years.

https://disenchantedscholar.wordpress.com/2018/07/17/the-scourge-of-the-bitter-mother/

The second line is a definite indicator of abuse.

Sometimes handcuffs look like wedding rings, bitches.

12. HE SUGGESTS THINGS “FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.” He cares about you so much that he’ll show you a better way to do your job, speak to your best friend, make a cup of tea and even lose those extra pounds (that you didn’t even notice). It’s not for your own good at all — it’s his way of controlling you. But screw that, you’re a grown woman who can damn well decide what’s best for you.

This isn’t Build-a-Bitch.

If he doesn’t want to marry you, he doesn’t want to marry Y O U.

If you’re really that incompetent, he shouldn’t be attracted.

Real men aren’t selfish

Patriarchy doesn’t smell like money, honey.

Keywords:

CHARACTER, honesty, reliability, intelligence, nobility, selflessness, respect, resilient.

Most good men in the history of mankind were far from “rich” and it’s easier to be charitable with a lot to spare. Jesus mentioned the hypocrisy.

Why do Americans insist a man’s worth is secondary to his net worth? How shallow are you to ignore character?

Well, maybe that explains your divorce rate better.

If the economy went down, the con artists who struck it rich would be worth…. what, exactly?

Look at the soul. The inherent quality of men.

Narcissistic male views marriage as status symbol

And a cover. It is less a yoke and more a ball and chain because they expect to take, take take and never give (even their gender role) unless they expect more in return – so not a union, more like running a business.

Good marriages aren’t a scoreboard.

Being married isn’t an achievement, you signed your name. It isn’t a status to hit others with like a rhetorical weapon. A good marriage is an achievement but I guarantee the married men bitching about single women don’t have one of those. Shouldn’t you be with your family than wasting time online? It’s un-Biblical, they’re bad husbands. They cherish every woman BUT their wife. (And they deny their body belongs to their wife).

The Madonna/Whore complex means they are emotionally impotent with their own wife. They hate her because she is his wife. (Because they hate themselves, thus resent her for loving him).

They don’t have empathy, they can’t love (even themselves). They can only imitate and parody i.e. seduction, “romance” cliches, while acting out of sync behind the mark’s back (lying, confabulated memory, cheating). It’s ALL superficial so they intend to lovebomb, mirror (to seem like a soulmate) and trick “good” women into the trap of legal union (personality disorders do this all the time, usually the mask doesn’t slip until after the wedding so long courtship had the old role of filtering them out). The prey can’t escape.

There is usually gaslighting during courtship into codependency (or deeper from an already codependent woman) so he uses the woman for supply before the marriage but she views it as emotional intimacy (wrong*), taking advantage of the novelty of the situation and fact she hasn’t seen all his sides (not informed consent). They don’t even know how bitter he is until after marriage, typically (because he is running off her supply so it doesn’t come out). These are later the divorced guys who act like innocent maidens attacked by the dragon of divorce and warn all men off marriage because they personally sucked at it. (Husband is a job so they devalue it once it turns out to be, you know, WORK).

Psychopaths are best known for doing that bait and trap thing with marriage, we need strict legal protections from such people (men and women both) and psychopaths are the most pathological narcissist.

There are plenty of good videos on that channel, including ones about women and traits the narcissist seeks to take for themselves via relationships, as an emotional vampire.

Oh, and they always cheat in marriage. They claim all men are similarly weak or “unhappy” because they don’t like other men either, thinking of other men as happy, faithful or good husbands would kill them on the inside.

So when no-fault divorce is over, they’ll be screwed twice!

Marriages require both parties to have emotional maturity (cooperation, compromise) so any union with a narcissist in it is doomed, even if the other party is a literal Saint. Naturally, it’s never their fault, like any incompetent person so they get married again and again and make the same “mistakes” again and again but there’s no agency involved apparently.

They were innocent victims of the vagina, as they purchased a ring and got down on one knee and said things they didn’t mean and spent months planning and turned up to say some lines and where, oh, where, did they go wrong?

They’re never wrong, according to them. Despite how their life is always a mess.

They’ll claim men are leaders in a marriage but resent the business of actually leading.

This is the guy who’ll claim to be traditional but hates religion and has a long, long line of “exes” you’re not “allowed” to “judge”. They’re such hypocrites they’re a walking joke.

*Emotional labour is real and doing too much of it (for two whole people) can kill a woman (stress x disease risk) or, rarely, a man. Commonly, a man is killed by stress at work (physical labour) but a woman’s lifespan is shortened by stress at home (emotional labour) so who a woman marries can literally be life or death, it can be the difference of a happy life and extra decades. Women need this information.

I’d bet good money that Type A men have an unhappy marriage and the woman has a similar disease risk profile. A married man’s primary responsibility is to his wife and until society pushes this point hard, men won’t try. They’ll ignore the marriage for career, friends, addiction (workaholism is the socially desirable addiction though). If the man won’t Be the Man, nothing the woman does will succeed. Men shirk their duties, abandon the home (literally or spiritually) and what can a woman do about that? Force him? No! Then she’s being the man!

And random but when society values women’s happiness and feminine energy levels over her contribution to GDP, we’ll be nicer overall. EVERYBODY WINS.

I’ve seen feminine women mocked by other women (envy) and torn down by men (who knows it’s easier to bed a High T harridan). Pick your poison, guys. Either you want women to earn their keep and be a whore in your bedroom or you want a docile purer kind and shun the former. You can’t expect mutual exclusives, it’s impossible. And you have to be worthy of the woman you want or it won’t last.

Funny example

One guy I spoke to said he liked “traditional women” but he also filtered FOR a “career woman”.

His words. He thought this was clever. He wanted the status of her “achievements”, you see.

When pressed (and I was pressed myself at the ignorance), he said he expected a woman to have a “good” (secure) job (be locked in), and have “at least” a middle-class salary. I just told him he sounded like a woman… from the 50s.

He literally did, I swear, there were other details that sealed it e.g. sexual experience. Why would any sane man want a wife who’s had more fun with other men?

He insisted there was no contradiction or way this could possibly backfire on him. That, my friends, is the idiot in action. When I pointed out those are impossible values systems, polar opposites, he claimed a traditional woman would be “bad in bed” (like you can’t teach them?) and “lazy” for not wanting an office job. The feminist propaganda has sunk into men the deepest.

They feel entitled to seek their male qualities in their wife.

That’s dysfunctional and you can’t convince me otherwise.

How lazy! What, is he going to take on the female role and give birth?

He only claimed to want trad because it’s the current status symbol, because he likes the idea of it and the supply it might give him. He married an SJW. She cooks sometimes and “lets him” tradlarp. He’s a moron. The woman who is cautious is feminine, there’s no rush – the woman desperate for a husband, any husband, is using you.

I have betting odds on his divorce. Easy money.

https://disenchantedscholar.wordpress.com/2018/07/16/why-wont-women-be-right-wing/

As it is, hypersexualised porno society has made women very masculine, higher T. They also need it to defend themselves in a low trust, multiculti society and that, naturally, never gets a mention. Unsafe society = everyone gets more aggressive. Sort out the former and the latter reverts.

We’re cultural refugees, in a way. Pining for a world that doesn’t exist.

We live in the dishonour culture, where people who act like whores aren’t ashamed of it, they’re proud. With freedom of association, we could avoid these people (m/f).

Not every man who wants to get married would be a good husband. Sometimes they want a slave to abuse but in the Bible such treatment (like property, like using a machine or a PA, housekeeper) instead of the equal yoke, to love and to cherish, was grounds for divorce. So nope, they can’t hide behind religion…. unless we can stone them for adultery (lawsuits were less bloody).

Trad test: what should be the punishment for adultery?

Trads know adultery is a crime. To “commit” adultery demands punishment.

Good men versus porn addict liars

Prime example why women need social protection.

Christians need to talk about this or our own group is a sitting, gullible duck.

Lies have legal consequences.
http://www.lovewhatmatters.com/im-that-girl-that-spent-6-months-with-a-ring-on-her-finger-that-girl-that-planned-an-entire-wedding-only-to-find-out-a-week-prior-it-was-all-a-lie/

A few obvious points, obvious to fellow K-types.

Never marry an addict.
Porn is cheating.  (see Bible)
Porn destroys marriages. (because adultery is the thrill)

“The coldest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life is the lying eyes of the man I love, gazing deep into my soul as multiple lies rolled from his lips. He knew it was all a lie, but for some reason, he could look at the woman he claimed to love so dearly straight in her eyes, and lie to her face. I never knew until that moment how unconsciously cold a single person could be.”

A liar for years? Congratulations, you avoided a miserable marriage to a filthy narcissist. Being married to one of those (m/f) can make you wish you were dead, if you read countless online accounts, so God was protecting you from that.

To lie multiple times (and every day) plus once caught? Narc.
Possibly psychopath, since he only seemed to value her as a status object (wife).

Good women can still be treated like dirt by burned out r-types pretending to be traditional to cash out and “have it all” (but once the novelty has worn off, they cheat and get divorced anyway, they just wanted the status – women can do it too). Women have a right to know and avoid bad marriage prospects. (As do good men from bad women).

betrayal trauma occurs when someone we depend on for survival or are significantly attached to, violates our trust in a critical way.”

A divorce would be Christian in this case, if they had married because 1. he was depicting himself in “false light”, she didn’t know who she was marrying. Plus the abuse psychologically from the cheating (2, betrayal trauma) and the addiction itself (3, which causes brain damage).

He portrayed himself as a good, honest man to trick her into legal wedlock.

Good honest women need to be protected from this type. She was true.

He didn’t even know what love is!

Makeup you can wash off. Lies void contracts. His narc mirroring caused her emotional bond, she never really fell for him because there is no him. There’s nothing in there! No person!

Narcs prefer to bond with empaths so good women must be especially vigilant. They assume you’ll be like a replacement mother figure and never leave them, you see. There’s logic. Whatever abuse, a mother’s love is eternal.

You can’t have a good marriage and Christian life + children with an r-type.

They are never satisfied in ANY marriage, it’s the nature of personality disease!

If they could change, they’d have done it before you met or they’d be prudent enough to never get an addiction in the first place.

Narcissists run the Bird with a Broken Wing routine, don’t fall for it.

Send them to a shrink, don’t play Mommy! Your husband is supposed to be the one caring for YOU.

Professionals have to train and gain the ability to prescribe serious meds for this! You can’t talk it out!

The level of psychopathic disdain to lie to her and plan this deception over years…. likely psychopath.

I bet he randomly showed up at a church to go wife-hunting (yes, hunting) because a PUA forum told him to. AVOID the crazy. Peeple was a good idea – as a courtship app. It replicates an honour culture, where reputation is well known.

Imagine hiring a business partner and finding out they have a criminal record. Like that only a very intimate betrayal. Possibly rape by fraud. Possibly. Note her disgust at the mask drop. Solid K response.

Psychopaths’ MO is to hide who they really are (for years) until AFTER the marriage. So you can’t run.

All other mental illness typically presents before a wedding so a psycho is literally every man/woman’s worst nightmare as a fiance/e.

Get a background check. If they get defensive, immediately break it off.

False light on wikipedia doesn’t discuss marital fraud anymore (bring it back, Trump!) but there are others.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misrepresentation

misrepresentation is an untrue or misleading[1] statement of fact made during negotiations by one party to another, the statement then inducing that other party into the contract.[2][3]

Marriage is a contract.

Legally binding.

The misled party may normally rescind the contract, and sometimes may be awarded damages as well (or instead of rescission).

https://info.legalzoom.com/meant-fraud-grounds-divorce-24925.html

Fraud
The definition of fraud in the context of divorce law varies between states. Generally, it means that one spouse grossly misrepresented issues so important that the other spouse would not have married him had she known the truth. For example, when a husband tells his wife before they married that he had never been married before and she discovers after the marriage that he was lying. His lie about his previous marriage may be considered fraud, especially if the wife can show that she would not have married him had she known this was his second marriage. Little white lies usually do not constitute fraud.”

Precisely. Christian expectations for a Christian marriage. It’s very simple.

Lies have legal consequences, degenerates.

Marriage is all about who/what you are. You lie about that, clear-cut case of fraud. K-types deserve legal protection. R-types shouldn’t care because they don’t want to marry!

Do we have to get them to sign a legal disclaimer that they haven’t falsely represented themselves?

Isn’t the marriage contract enough?

Stringers vs. winners

For those women who want to marry, common sense advice.
https://www.today.com/health/reason-why-men-marry-some-women-not-others-t74671

“We ran across at least fifty men we could identify as stringers. They can be very dangerous. I estimate each one is responsible for at least two women remaining single. They are destructive because they con women into wasting their time during the years when they are most attractive and most likely to get a proposal. They stay with women, live with women, promise them marriage, and string them on and on indefinitely.”

Breach of promise.

I can change him is my best vapid line. Oh, so he’s a tire?