Doesn’t really give your future wife much to work with, does it?
Roughly speaking, something to bear in mind.
As for married couples, I’ve noticed a process.
Madonna/Whore comes from the male inability to reconcile the woman he loves with the woman he fucks. They view the wife like a replacement mother and feel disgust or rejection of their desire projected onto the wife, especially if she’s dutiful – they see her fussing over the business of the home and childcare. They disgracefully think lust and love are meant to be separate and always kept separate (this stupid false belief literally causes men health problems inc. impotence and it’s also why they marry sluts). It’s like they think they’re corrupting her with their conjugal rights. It becomes a serious turn-off, like she’s tainted or impure for desiring him (repulsed by her lust) or it isn’t “safe” to sexually express – with their SPOUSE. Husbands CANNOT repress their sexuality and basically rob their wives of that cherishing experience. It ruins marriages, sex is the glue that holds marriage together and while ebbs and flows are normal, either depriving the other, while bad, isn’t as bad as seeking it outside the union (always adultery). That’s a divorce category because it ruins the union, spoils the trust, the connection itself is divorced between the parties. No splitting or the woman senses this and retreats, in passive femininity and trust (how women solve problems), assuming he needs his own space, he’ll come back soon and then he feels abandoned when actually, she’s waiting for him to be the Man first. Because he is. A wife is the most sexual woman. It’s the total experience including fertility, modern men fear the completion of the cycle is the “wrong” thing but actually it’s postmodern sterile sex that’s incomplete* sexuality (and likely causes most of the psychiatric issues associated with promiscuity). Men experience the fulfillment of their sexuality when they become a father, this is why their hormones change for about a year after the wife gives birth!**
Husbands also stop flirting with their wife in modern times, a fact I am certain is a divorce risk… like, no? Why would you think that’s a good idea? The Bible says if you don’t get everything at home you’ll be tempted outside it. Flirt with your damn wife, women are verbal creatures! Women need that verbal affirmation, or society will replace it. Missionary work, crash dieting, various passive-aggressive unconscious punishments that take her energy outside the union and onto worldly things (so not cheating but damn close and it seriously raises the odds she’d escalate to that).
Women get (passive) the verbal (flirting) then men get the physical (sex).
It’s a very simple process and I have to keep explaining this to people. This is old common knowledge. Usually there’s nothing actually “wrong” in the initial stages of marital “problems”, they just don’t flirt! It doesn’t occur to them!!
It isn’t something you do for courting or that kids do.
It’s verbal glue.
You have fewer arguments. Seriously. This is so simple so a therapist (if they know) will NEVER EVER tell you because it’s FREE. Free puts them out of a job.
A husband who wants his wife to be less sexual shouldn’t have married her, frankly. And he can’t expect her to degrade herself, (stares at America) sexuality isn’t doing everything, that’s a sign of a problem where the lust is covering it. There isn’t any shame in marital sex, American Christians need this hammered into their skulls. It isn’t dirty if you’re married. Sex is marriage glue. Repeat this until you know it in your bones.
*Imagine you kept eating and eating and eating food but were never satisfied and actually got more frustrated. Congratulations, sexually, that’s hook-up culture. Nobody says this because they don’t want to offend the single or infertile but sorry, that’s evolution. It’s like saying we need air to breathe, it could offend people with breathing problems but so what? Doesn’t change the fact.
Ancient times measured sexual encounters as satisfactory based on whether or not they were “fruitful”. They knew. Those were incredibly patriarchal societies, well, this is the kernel of truth behind all patriarchy.
You don’t see the father of five wishing he had two.
It’s also why broody men in our culture are shamed as patriarchal.
**And miscarriage or infertility can provoke divorce. In biological terms, you fall in love for two years to conceive and then the parental bond is the heightened connection, the sight of proven fertility, parental oxytocin from interactions. I wonder if childless marriages (by choice) are also a divorce risk, I’d assume so since it replicates infertility.
Random but I wonder if a Roe v Wade repeal would include the Pill abortifacient? Biologically, it must. It’s a chronic Morning After pill, another chemical abortion. Both are given to minors, more grounds.
Tradlarpers lie about the Bible.
As in, blatant lying.
Specifically (and atheists shouldn’t marry, that’s repeated* throughout the Bible) on Marriage:
” I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. ”
“8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.”
“17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.”
“But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”
“38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.”
I don’t criticize MGTOW for being unmarried…. as long as they’re moral.
I do criticize larpers who insist everyone must marry (like vain them) as if that were 1. possible or 2. desirable.
They think they have a right to “give away” these people’s bodies!
*There’s an interesting point in a commentary, since it’s against marrying diversity:
“The Greek word for “unequally yoked together” is not found elsewhere, and was probably coined by St. Paul to give expression to his thoughts. Its meaning is, however, determined by the use of the cognate noun in Leviticus 19:19 (“Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind“).”
However, a man can only love as a husband sacrificially
Your mother no longer comes first, nor your friends.
Divorce is acceptable for abuse, adultery, abandonment of either party.
The poorer, innocent party should receive alimony for supporting the richer’s efforts to earn it.
Re-marriages of the sinning party are not Biblical.
I wrote a post ages back on the old laws that protected marriage.
“Protection from adultery is the crucial means of safeguarding marriage for future generations.”
Protection from cheats is one.
Marriage is a contract. Yes, you should be held to your oath of monogamy.
Holding the seducer responsible doesn’t divide the house.
Also counts under criminal conversation. “Open marriage” cucking is effectively already illegal.
Way more expensive than a hooker.
That’s a real academic.
The greatest troll alive.
He’s right but self-help’s cult doesn’t help either.
We live in the era of cults, everyone’s in a few.
We need more records from men like this rather than bitter screeds from divorcees and bachelors. The advice sources are polar opposites to one another because they lived it.
There’s an obvious point I made earlier, I’ve noticed any time a selfish person marries (even if they marry a saint) the union is doomed. This is one of my most popular posts:
Don’t marry a selfish person who cannot combine in a marital UNION or if you are one, know this and do not marry. You can’t “make it work” unless you get a personality transplant. Being selfish, they don’t really try and therapists will tell you they superficially make an effort only as a means to abuse and control. The power dynamics must be equal because both are working for one another.
Do I have to mention the obvious, like liking each other when sex is off the table? Shared values? Good taste in friends? No vices?
His points are, for the record and lightly extrapolated:
- Faith in God. Appreciation for the sacred.
- Loyalty (goes both ways, just assume on all these).
- Asking God for a loyal spouse, who would stay in hard times too.
- Know your dealbreakers and shun them quickly (nothing you do yourself either), especially addictions and the delusions that often accompany them e.g. smoking.
- Do not put yourself in a situation where you grow close to someone unsuitable. Common sense?
- “Your wife will be your best friend in the world or your worst enemy and which one she is, is down to you” – Grandmother.
- “No matter what, you never speak bad of her in front of anyone else, never (bitch) about her.” – Grandmother, about respect.
- “Never degrade or make fun of her” (mockery, is not funny) – “to her face especially, the world will do that enough and try to put her down, she doesn’t need her husband to do that” (be the sanctuary). – Grandmother
- “Everything you buy, put her name on it. She’s an equal portion of this family and treat her as that, don’t treat her as a second-class citizen or worse, a slave! She’s equal in every possible way” (investment, union) “including in the bank accounts and anything else that you have your name on.” (trust)
- “Wait five years before you have children, before you even consider having children. That time will be the glue that allows you both to know each other and love each other. That five years will be invaluable.”
The most important takeaway, don’t indulge in the gay best friend bitch fests society is also introducing and encouraging men to take part in. The thing a woman most wants is the same as a man: respect. If you can’t give that, it won’t last. It is down to the man to show respect and it will be reciprocated (since, implied, he sets the tone).
We need valuable old advice like this.
I wonder what the divorce rate is if one is an atheist? I have won a lot of bets checking that.
They can’t find a man to commit to the investment with.
“Single women are freezing their eggs due them being unable to find men who will commit to a relationship, rather than to focus on their careers, new research suggests.
Delaying motherhood to focus on work is the least common reason women undergo the procedure, a Yale University study found today.”
“Some 85 percent of the participants were single”
The instinct is that strong.
“Speaking of the findings , study author Dr Marcia Inhorn said: ‘Our study suggests that the lack of a stable partner is the primary motivation. Freezing eggs holds out hope for many”
It isn’t education, it’s the stability of marriage.
Speak to women.
this comment explains the ignorance
“Men wanted to settle down when in their 20s. Stop blaming men for your failures women”
Where are the men financially capable and willing to settle in their 20s? They don’t exist anymore, Grandpa. And a woman still needs to earn food and other living expenses before getting married?
They want totally helpless Disney princess women who magically survived until he showed up.
Oh and she has to be super tough and rugged and cool – and deeply feminine!
Frilly apron wearing, pie-baking, gun-toting anal-sex preferring cool girl!
Manic Pixie Dream Waifu!
Wow, why do they attract borderlines so much who try to be everything?
They have no idea what they actually need is simple (and not contradictory) because they feel their wife should be a status symbol, there I said it. Who gives a shit what people think, you bloody omegas. It’s a wife, not a girlfriend. There’s a reason those never work out aka FAIL. The things you look for make it short term. You don’t know what you want.
Male choices are polluted. Your instincts are wrong.
They also focus on trivial shit like music taste and video games and whether they tolerate your BS (enabling is toxic, actually) then ignore divorce risk things like needing matching religion and politics. That includes your own. If you want a Christian, you need to be a real Christian or your divorce risk is still high. You can’t blame the other party. You cannot mitigate your divorce risk by choosing a “good” woman – and why would those women want them? It’s an investment, both parties need to decide to invest.
It’s 6pm, the baby won’t stop crying and your husband prefers a horrid desk job to seeing his child now the novelty’s worn off. The dinner you slaved over for three hours is cold and you’re pretty sure he’s fucking his secretary. All he does is give you money like a child then ignore you like a baby-making Furby. Sexually you’re frustrated because he doesn’t want you since he insisted on watching the baby come out and insisting you breastfeed. You feel ugly, exhausted and unloved. He’s nicer to his friends than he is to you.
That’s practically more miserable than the single mother getting the same or more money.
Was this man a real man? Was he a good choice? Is he superficial or successful?
Selfish people will fail in their marriage. Any selfish person must never ever marry.
If there’s no mutual exchange, they severely over-rate their attractiveness e.g. age 25+, 30+, 35+ = freaky sperm psychiatric risk. Women sense this. It doesn’t matter if you’re Don Draper IRL if you’re unhealthy. Plus cheating is the most common reason for divorce so the ones who plan to cheat deserve to be abandoned, they broke their vow. It’s like signing for insurance and defrauding, they don’t owe you because bad faith, trust bond is gone. Hey, stoning would be cheaper than divorce lawyers and less painful.
A man’s sperm is best age 18. Biologically, men should marry and reproduce 18-21, to 25 latest. The manosphere totally ignores this because it doesn’t care about you. A woman’s fertility peaks 21-28. The system must stabilize. They lie about these things, however I doubt they can read the data and with women it’s more intra-family health. Schools do not inform boys they even have a biological clock! Like the retirement scam.
Another thing these guys in the comments typically say – women should “prep” for decades to be good wives (mileage of definition may vary) but men just need to show up at the end of the aisle one day with penis. That is how all millennia of societies worked, O.K. I guess they own a katana too?
Most comments also fall for the “women want Don Draper career man” trope.
No? Traditional women want a man who is around! Nobody wants a spouse they never see!
There are plenty of divorced or single rich men who thought money bought wife approval. She can get her own money? The kids hate them too, it’s a film trope for a reason, it’s fucking child abuse. It’s physical abandonment however much money you throw at them in guilt and their brains still demonstrate it (and in girls things like menarche hitting earlier, as if they’re dead!)…
They have no idea what women want. Look at how Don cracked at the end of that show, those guys are rich spoiled losers totally dependent on a fake economy and rigged promotion system. The gold watch career is GONE. Raising a family on one income is OVER. Workaholism isn’t sexy. It’s a mental problem.
Women have always worked, just not the easily taxed forms? They expect a lot of work from such a woman (at least 50 hours a week, add it up!) but disrespect her enough not to call it that?
That’s your woman, you should be singing her praises!
And they won’t do their fair share, even with childcare?
But nannies are evil and kids need their dad around? For what? To stare at them like possessions?
The guys saying this shit wouldn’t last a week being normal (no fast food and so on) with a small group of well-behaved kids. They’d snap.
Humans didn’t evolve to raise a kid, singular, alone. They need round the clock care, especially babies. You need shifts. I’m betting those guys refuse to let her live around relatives to help out because Muh Career.
The 50s postcard was bullshit even then. Everyone drank, smoked and medicated to numb it.
You need to go back older than that. They refuse. They’re too lazy to be real men. Everyone works. Nobody gets to sit with their feet up being an alcoholic porn addict or whatever. God America, what happened?
Oh, it’s past five so you get to be a slob? No? Parents do things they don’t like all the time! You have to. Dependents aren’t appliances that switch off at 5.30pm week nights. Only a man child would disagree. You are a parent forever. No breaks. These are the guys who bitch about lunch breaks. That’s why women avoid them. The man is meant to be the strong horse, biologically. A woman has to rely on him. He can’t sit there expecting foot rubs when she’s been working all day too (more manual work*, usually, in a weaker body) and there’s hours of work still.
The 50s started daycare and nursery cheats, remember. It was never humanly possible!
Okay, good luck finding a magic woman who will throw a sword at you, while we’re at it, when you can’t accept simple red pill truths about the modern world. This is it. This is the world you live in. It sucks for women too.
Like, if she is with you for your money that’s dumb. You will lose your job. Then what? And did you never see Desperate Housewives? Hours of time to cheat with Juan the Poolboy if all you provide is cash. What about when you retire?
They can’t say “it’s good when we avoid family for the ego boost of a career (don’t lie) but the need in this economy for a woman to earn her keep makes her evil” and “we refuse to marry and single mothers are the devil but women should have magical babies supported by magic money and raised by magic invisible fathers”.
Like, pick a narrative and stick with it, bitches.
Men who hate domestic life? NEVER MARRY.
When an adult chooses to become a parent and they’d make a bad parent, the child suffers.
Picture your kid hating you. If you get angry, never breed. Narcissists don’t want kids, they want supply. The internet confuses the motives.
*Irony: modern mother has more manual exhausting work than her desk job husband.