Repeat after me: Brain implants are good

Brain implants are good.
Brain implants are good.

Allow me to assess these claims given my background.

article here;

1. Hear a conversation from across a room, or in a crowded club.

hearing aids. kid’s toys. a phone ~ things that also do that.

2. Give you the ability to see in the dark.

we have goggles for that. unless you’re a low key stalker.

3. Give you sight that can zoom in on things that are far away.


4. Make you better at math and navigation.

learning navigation is a valuable skill, vital to health (inner ear) and calculators are better

5. Allow you to download skills like in “The Matrix.”

books. mastery? effort? application?

6. Restore damaged memories.

what? censored?! where’s point 6?

7. Cure depression and control mood.

cure anger at Gov. policy

8. Enhance focus and energy, like stimulants without the drugs.

good little workers

9. Control machines with your mind.

mouse. keyboard. no accidental porn popping up in your presentation mid-meeting because you saw the intern’s cleavage…

10. Search the web and translate languages.

to read Twitter rape threats in Arabic too!

I guess we need to accept this has happened and it's going to get pushier