Link: Spotting projection (and victim blaming)

Do you see what they’re doing? It’s a little mental trick of wiping that dirt off the bad guy’s image and smearing it on the good guy’s.

The result is farce. Which easy to detect if you’re paying attention.

For, if an honest person were talking, someone who honestly felt the other party was at least somewhat to blame, he or she wouldn’t totally reverse reality this way.

This is how, for example, you get people characterizing the abuser as, of all the things, the victim. Enough to make the head spin. Getting things that backwards is no accident: it’s projection.

Key words used:

Real victim here

Responsibility (really used to mean blame)


claims of stupidity (innate) instead of naivety (circumstantial, easily forgivable)

if you X, you should expect Y (non-sequitur) e.g. if you wear a miniskirt, you should expect to be raped

“crazy” – hello gaslighting my old friend

why are you so angry? to derail and give them an excuse to call you irrational or irrelevant (tone policing)

it’s a conspiracy! e.g. all men everywhere would be happy if it weren’t for those meddlin’ feminists

That isn’t just wrong: it’s a farce. That exactly REVERSES reality. They are just playing the shell game with labels.

They question the agency of the attacker and claim it was magically reduced only for the duration of an attack, including verbal abuse.

There is always some form of prejudice between the person projecting’s demographic and their claimed victim (usually sex or race). As in, it’s automatically wrong to cross (group) and do (thing), and much worse than any other combination of victim groups. They ingroup with the attacker, because they identify with the attacker, whatever they do.

Over time, the same person will claim the same flaws in all the people they hate. In men, this is usually low IQ (acting like stupidity equates to evil, makes one a bad person and they deserve to be treated with cruelty) and in women, this is usually low SES (as if being poor is a bad thing, instead of the attitude you take to it).

Bitchy men will resort to stereo-typically bitchy gay tactics e.g. insulting looks while the same SMV as the person they attack. Butch women will behave like men, with male-patterned entitlement.

Projection is of course intellectual dishonesty.

An honest person may be wrong. But an honest person never reverses and makes a farce of reality.

False beliefs prevail e.g. my demographic is blameless and anything we did was justified (from Black Lives Matter to MRAs). Due to the toxic culture (conspiracy), the (demo) is always the real victim. Making it personal is the bulk of their reply, poisoning the well is the same as an argument. Appeal to ignorance – for the attacker.

Therefore, narcissists and psychopaths shouldn’t just be lumped together with the rest of the mentally ill. Indeed, narcissists and psychopaths can think quite straight whenever they want to. Their twisted thinking might be 100% willful or a habit ingrained from decades of willfy twisted thinking as a Peter Pan.

You are responsible for your own actions. That’s it. They will go on and on about responsibility – but only ever in reference to others. They will never acknowedge pure responsibility for themselves, usually a lesser charge superficially or with an excuse. They never run out of excuses. They conflate this with being rational. It’s rationalization.

Imagine a narcissist’s life as a road coming from way back in childhood. Now look behind him or her at the heaps of human wreckage all the way along it. All the playmates and people trampled. All the littler kids beat up. All the animals abused. All the marriages and friendships busted. All the false accusations that got innocent people punished. All the careers ruined. All the spirits crushed. All the credit stolen. All the abuse. That ain’t nothing.

Narcissists are people to stay far away from. All PREDATORS are. No one has to risk proximity to a predator: that’s the Law of Nature known as the right to self preservation. No professionally pious prig can morally obligate you to offer yourself up to abuse by remaining anywhere within a predator’s reach.

If the professionally pious prigs are so sure they’re morally correct, let them befriend the narcissist and fill that vacancy. Then let’s hear what they have to say.

Monsters tend to befriend one another.

This comment, they are exposed by time.

Narcissists and psychopaths don’t participate in humanity. They consider themselves different, above human beings. They consider themselves predators on human beings, treating us like we treat bugs. THEY do this. They CHOOSE to not be human.

It should be Humane Rights.

Their choice.

They have no humanity for human beings. They think human beings are disgusting. One I used to know, like to characterize the human race as spineless “sludge” he could crush. Stuff “made of cheap stuff” (= dirt).

They will sometimes claim to be misanthropes to give themselves an intellectual air. If they didn’t care about humans, why devote their entire life to seeking our approval? To leeching positive affect? Draining bank accounts (this is why women expect men to pay, leech test)?

Don’t insult him by calling him a human being.

Narcissists deliberately treat human beings inhumanly. That is one of those things that just goes right through expert brains like a neutron.

They do this because they think it makes them a god. You would insult them by calling them human beings. Predators don’t prey on their own species. Human beings don’t view all other human beings as lunch on the hoof.

Sadism is their sociality. They always feel the need to dominate and control. Random people, waiters, other servile roles to experts (including the shrinks themselves). “My opinion is worth more than your credentials.”

The only time malignant narcissists and psychopaths want to be regarded as “human” is when they are crybabying and making excuses for abuse to avoid justice when they’ve been caught. And they are laughing up their sleeve at any sucker who falls for that line.

Protection, cowardice, retreat.

Sexually, narcissists will be attracted to borderlines. A huge red flag for a narcissist is one who keeps attracting borderlines and is too dense to know why. It plays into their victim cover. Apparently, they also suffer child abuse, but somehow never ‘traumatic’ enough to seek professional help.

Sure, great characters.

Projection, envy and monstering (character assassinations, slander)

yes nod sup Lestat IWTV film uhuh I know

This is exactly what they do, I’ve found recording their lies and inconsistences to be especially helpful. I have a particular distaste to the religious examples, but it does befit the CHINO.

For example, narcissists always project to me that I am;

  • arrogant – when I’m among the most humble people you could ever meet, I don’t think I’m that important at all
  • mean – when I’m trying to give them advice to make them happy after being very patient or simply stick in my position on a topic and refuse to “see their (wrong) side” aka fold and agree obsequiously for their ego
  • and the best of all, stupid, and they pretend to mock me – when I disprove their vapid points on every count and everyone else is, in fact, laughing at them.

It’s one of the best ways you can tell you are truly intelligent, because a stupid narcissist will always think everyone else has the accusation of stupidity as their greatest weakness as well. They will state the opposite of the truth, making up character flaws, trying to cause doubt which develops into a neurotic complex (if you believe the best thing about you is the worst you will believe anything else they tell you), perhaps a condition they fuel up to suicide (why they say “please kill yourself”). They’ll bitch about you behind your back, but that’s a sign you’re doing something right, as they wouldn’t dare confront you to your face, like an adult.

I know I am not any of those things because super-empaths, Nature’s mirrors, really like me, they find me chill and serene (unlike the narcissists, who sometimes try and call me angry, piping-hot with rage, when I’m more, at most, like irritated at a buzzing fly in my face).
It’s difficult to take those people seriously when you’ve been told by some expert authority figures (many in psychiatry) how one is the complete and total opposite of these flawed, pathetic creatures, and how refreshing that is. “Too honest” is my fave. As if that’s a real thing.

Think of it from their perspective.

They want to be positive things A, B and C. Desperately. Their whole life has been leading up to it.
They come across someone who is A and it irks them. They make snide putdowns about how being A is “fake” behind their back. Fake nice to their face.
They come across someone who is both A and B. This angers them and they try to bring this person down to their level of misery by turning their greatest strength against them – you’re not *really* AB, they’ll say, you’re the opposite, the universally hated XY, and you should feel guilty and hate yourself for being those things.
They come across someone AB and C. Rage fires on all cylinders. This person must be destroyed, or if not, cast from even their peripheral vision (i.e. urgh, I’m trying to forget <person> exists). They become bitter, vindictive, spiteful, and if this is responded to accordingly by the victim, yes, they are a real victim to this damaging monster, it should show up to their friends as an alarming lashing out. The narcissist will blame the victim, of course, it was their fault. They are normally the opposite (a sort of reverse projection again to look saintly). If the friends help purge the evil influence, which makes them act in a way that scares their friends, they won’t be angry anymore and need to take it out on anyone (including, the friends who refuse, implicitly). This causes monstering. “Nobody likes you”, “The world is a terrible place with you in it”, and “kill yourself” are all the things they believe about themselves. They have no logic behind them, unless it’s twisted beyond recognition.

If you happened on this page because one of these is after you, you have my sympathy.

You are the Victim. You can’t handle them. You must kick them out of your life, which revokes their power to ruin yours. When you’ve made it clear it’s over, they will expect you to crawl back (they’re narcissists) over the broken glass they made with your own pain. If you still have friends in common, the best revenge is to let those friends know how happy you are, since the narcissist will fish for this information.