Even if we don’t take them back, the most dangerous time for a person is when they first break up with a psychopath. The psychopath feels rage at being discarded. Losing control or power over a person is not just a narcissistic injury for them; they feel profoundly empty when their partner leaves them even if they had intended to kill their partner. The reason is because they have lost control. Psychopaths need to feel in control at all times.
For all these situations, we have Gray Rock.
What it is:”¨
So, how do we escape this parasitical leech without triggering his vindictive rage? Gray Rock is primarily a way of encouraging a psychopath, a stalker or other emotionally unbalanced person, to lose interest in you. It differs from No Contact in that you don’t overtly try to avoid contact with these emotional vampires. Instead, you allow contact but only give boring, monotonous responses so that the parasite must go elsewhere for his supply of drama. When contact with you is consistently unsatisfying for the psychopath, his mind is re-trained to expect boredom rather than drama. Psychopaths are addicted to drama and they can’t stand to be bored. With time, he will find a new person to provide drama and he will find himself drawn to you less and less often. Eventually, they just slither away to greener pastures. Gray Rock is a way of training the psychopath to view you as an unsatisfying pursuit you bore him and he can’t stand boredom.
For the broader group, personality disorder (1+) would be highly effective.
If they mutilate you, if they torment you – you can’t leave them. Nobody else would have you, as gaslighters put it.
That’s the common reason behind borderlines – being borderlines. They want to damage and depress those around them, to weaken them from leaving.
The nymphomania is pretty indicative of classic psychopathy.
You can tell by someone’s personal life alone whether they’re crazy. Elsewhere, people hide.
Same goes for the ‘gay’ domestic abuse rates, and drug use.
Classic psycho traits. High time preference.
Also, wouldn’t it be a typical narcissist to name themselves ‘happy’?
“As healthcare officials will attest, the biggest problem with mental illness, is the mentally ill don’t think they’re mentally ill and refuse treatment. As long as they can pass an examination that states they aren’t a threat to themselves or society, and aren’t sociopaths gaming the system, then give them their desired “X” for gender on their driver’s license (and if Target wants to spend $20 million to build gender neutral bathrooms in all their stores, that’s their decision, but considering their stock has dropped 25% since the announcement, and during a record high bull market at that, their PR stunt speaks for itself).”
They are all listed in the DSM. It’s literally a disease.
They are also coded in the ICD, which Americans forget about but we have that in Europe.
The D stands for Disease. It is literally correct to say they have a disease.
Narcissists are typified by a rage at happiness.
Naturally, they love any excuse to play victim.
This makes them look good and the good person look bad.
You might call that crazy. Well… yeah. That’s the point.
They’re the human equivalent of an infection. Emotional contagion is a weapon.
They’ll turn up at someone’s birthday party knowing they aren’t welcome.
You could say etiquette exists to isolate them.
In general, those with personality disorders resent the normal, want to destroy and replace the norm, to steal its power for themselves. They can’t run a piss-up in a brewery though, but they can inflict plenty of damage as they take society down with them.
Most have been diagnosed with at least ‘depression’ (*a false effect produced by the low when someone thwarts their precious way or doesn’t allow themselves to be abused) but tend to have rage issues and psychotic symptoms. Some depressive meds are also used as anti-psychotics.
*A depressed person would never use it as emotional blackmail.
An abuser would.
It isn’t just men, it isn’t just women, people suck!
“I mean, granted, I was never ready mentally, emotionally, or financially, but all I needed was time. I’m still not all the way there yet, but I’m ready to work.”
>When men in their thirties claim to be ‘figuring stuff out’ like an immature teenage girl…
Is he going on a juice cleanse? Backpacking round India? Converting to Buddhism? New gym membership? Read a great self-help book about Positive Thinking TM? Starting an online store for supplements?
You’re supposed to have figured out how to adult as a teenager.
When you’re double that age, it’s frankly humiliating.
“One day, I was going to take things seriously. I just wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready, but please don’t move on. I had it all planned out in my head. The timing just wasn’t right, I promise.”
Emotional abuse for $200 aka Let me gaslight you into doubting your own, accurate impression of me and treat you like shit because I wanna get away with being a terrible person.
R-types believe they can have their cake and eat it aka the Have it All lifestyle.
Life is all about timing, either you snatch up the good while it’s there or it will go. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal.
People pair up very quickly by around thirty. It’s like musical chairs in reverse. There are chairs but they’re kinda sticky.
“You knew that one day it would be you and me. So you waited patiently.”
That’s called friendship.
Women don’t wait around like that unless they’re crazy, like creepy men.
Sane people have personal boundaries and don’t allowed themselves to be used.
He thought he was playing her for emotional companionship and later, sex and wifing up, but that friendship was all she wanted. Classic!
“You seem happy. I hope you are because I’m not. I mean I’m happy for you. But I feel like sh*t. That gorgeous smile I see is the product of someone else’s doing.”
Narcissism. Furious that others are having fun without them.
“I can make your smile wider, though! I’m the only one who literally has you dying laughing, adding the extra O’s to your LMAO.”
That is the most 21st century male thing I have ever heard.
Men used to promise to conquer empires, dammit. That is plain pathetic.
He’s not even offering to cook her dinner.
I think this is why she was relieved he kept it at a friendship level.
She dodged 7 bullets out of a 6-chamber gun.
Women notice how you treat us, I covered this in detail. If we’re your friend and see other women being treated like shit, the sexual attraction DIES. RIP. NEVER COMING BACK. This is why we have the higher EQ.
“It’s my bad. I waited too long. I played around. I thought you would always be there. I took you for granted. I’m sorry.”
False remorse, yep. *checks off list*
“By definition, character-impaired folks have deficient or sometimes even absent consciences. So, genuine remorse is usually not in their vocabulary when they do things that hurt others. They might well have some regret for the practical consequences of their actions, but that’s not at all the same as being remorseful. And, because they are predisposed to use their typical ways of coping (e.g., denying, lying, “justifying,”blaming, etc.) to deal with situational stressors, while they might experience momentary regret over an adverse consequence of their behavior, they usually only dig in their heels and become more determined than ever to have their way, primarily because they lack remorse. That’s precisely why they don’t seem to learn from experience. They actually do learn, and learn plenty. They just don’t learn the lessons we’d like them to learn. It’s because of their lack of remorse that they don’t re-assess their general approach to things and seriously consider modifying their style…”
They learn to fuck you over better next time.
“Guilt is feeling bad about something you’ve done, whereas shame is feeling bad about who you are. The popular wisdom for some time has been that guilt is both essential and often helpful to moral functioning but shame is to be avoided because it’s counterproductive at best or outright toxic at worst. Some folks have extended the meaning of shame to include feelings of humiliation, embarrassment, or disgrace. But shame is not synonymous with any of these things (Words have to have meanings and it’s important to distinguish terms). And only recently have some researchers bucked the long popular trend by presenting evidence that some shame can indeed be good.”
He’d love to claim she cheated – on what, is the question begged.
To get this straight as a ruler;
guilt > for actions
shame > for persons
embarrassment > temporary, minor
humiliation > major, self-involved
disgraced > permanent, major, social damage to reputation
e.g. If you cheat on your spouse they are humiliated, if the neighbours find out they are also disgraced.
“Deep down, I’m hoping it doesn’t work out. I’m hoping he messes up — not to the point that he hurts you or to the point that you become bitter and maybe even take it out on me.”
me me me me me me me me me
but I care about you
This is why women have such concepts as toxic people and frenemies.
They hurt and sabotage you.
“But even worse than all of that is the fact that I’m old, lonely, and full of regret.”
Not her fault.
“Come home when you get a chance. I’ll be here.”
Oh, fuck off.
I didn’t edit that either, it really is that shallow. Check.
Easy men are not hard to get, they don’t get to play hard to get. Coyness is not attractive in a man, it’s commitment phobia. That’s the feminine role.
His earlier article:
“Benching”-when men friendzone wife material to pursue slags on the Pussy Parade but don’t want to admit to friendzoning.
“Some girls might call this a fuckboy activity or whatever.”
Don’t describe me as I am.
“There was never any pressure. Whenever we did link up, we had a non-sexual good time.”
They feel sexually entitled to everything – including platonic friends.
It’s like the so-called alpha widow or a retired porn star.
‘I’m damaged but you should want me even more because blah blah blah magic cheat code word experience.’
Mental damage is certainly an experience.
Bad relationships teach you bad lessons, abusive ones.
To continue seeking out other shitty people (his level) shows he learnt nothing after the first one.
Fool me once…
Once is a mistake, twice, a choice.
He doesn’t tell men not to, he says not to keep stringing good women along for too long.
What an absolute POS.
Yes, he deserves to be alone.
I’ve seen too many good women lap this bullshit up and wonder why they get cheated on, married.
You can’t change him, you haven’t changed him, this isn’t a fairytale.
These posts are a PSA in avoiding crazy.
They claim a romantic script where they explain away their promiscuity by saying it’s a quest for The One. They don’t believe in a one. The next woman who takes their fancy, they will claim might be the One, so when it goes wrong (his fault) he gets to blame someone else (her).
It’s never their fault.
They’re incapable of monogamy or keeping a woman (r-types), why would they want a one?
What’s their reaction to happily married men? Disgust, confusion and loathing.
Yeah, they don’t want Miss Right, unless it’s followed by Now.
It’s easy to reveal when they imagine she’s simultaneously easy for him but difficult to ‘conquer’ (like an object or land staked by a flag) by all other men.
That isn’t how humans work. Ever. Either they’re sluts or they aren’t, but these guys expect the ‘right woman’, who magically sees Mr Sociopath’s value to use and abuse them, would dote on them like a mother, plus sex. It’s very Freud because mother cannot abandon them and many called a sociopath here in these types of article are misdiagnosed male borderlines.
However, when a woman turns out to be easy, they put her in a list called Not the One.
When a woman turns out to be unreceptive to his advances, same list.
All women end up on that list.
That is his choice.
They expect finding love (conflated with sex) isn’t difficult. That is madness.
But sociopaths are inherently lazy, they expect EVERYTHING to come easy.
Including a person.
When that doesn’t happen, narcissistic rage or manipulation ensues (to provoke the response desired or your own rage, so they can cue their own rage and blame you).
Hence it’s critical you don’t rise to their bait and cut them off from attention, they see attention as a reward for their behaviour. Those so-called bitches are just onto them.
Send them to a professional, they won’t go. Even shrinks cannot fix them.
Men playing the sympathy card flag up.
““I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him,” Martha Stout confirms in The Sociopath Next Door. “If you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to 100 percent that you are dealing with a sociopath.””
Men cannot be simultaneously superior and weaker. Pick one.
“Sociopaths want to be the center of your world. If they’re not, it becomes much harder to exert control. To do that, many will introduce another person into the relationship to upset the balance and make you glom onto them harder. A straight-up affair would be too easy (and risky) to reveal. Usually, these come in the form of an old friend who just has to come along on your dates, an attractive bartender he can’t stop talking to, or even his phone. Anything that when you complain about it, suddenly you’re the insecure/melodramatic/crazy one.”
They call that ‘dread game’ but the term round here is called being a shithead.
They think this is ‘harmless’ (lie) or funny (gaslighting).
Relates to triangulation, a form of abuse using a 3rd party.
Simple Q: are they trying to make you feel bad? Out of the two of you, who did something bad?
“Denying what they’re clearly doing is called gaslighting, and it’s an incredibly damaging practice.”
“The sociopath mindset is fascinating. Generally, they believe they are smarter than everyone else, and because of that, life is set up to punish them. Listen to the way your partner talks about themselves. What kind of stories do they regularly tell? And what role do they play? If every story features them one-upping someone (at any cost) or how they were thwarted (by cruel forces clearly out to get them) they may be subtly revealing their worldview.
“The sense of entitlement that comes with sociopathy is astonishing to those who abide by the social laws and conventions of our culture,”
Idealization (lies) and devaluation (lies). Sense a pattern?
“this rage fuels their sense that they have the right to act out in whichever way they happen to choose at the time.”
they are more emotional than an hysterical woman grieving, that’s why they tend to hate women, they project their sensitivity as a sign of womanhood to displace guilt… and excuse themselves when they ‘punish’ women in or with relationships with them
sure, they’re the victim
You’re supposed to hold them at arm’s length whenever you’re seeing someone new.
Background checks and shielding assets. Don’t tell them anything about your finances, or lie downwards and watch them skedaddle. Why would they need to know?
Thwart them once on a minor thing and see if they lash out like a little bitch.
They want to move you like a pawn, hook you and emotionally keep you in the basement. Stockholm Syndome.
You can’t fix or change a bad person. No, you can’t. A professional can because of professional distance, but nobody else can. Plenty of romance stories are wrong.
They have broken pair bonding from promiscuity and an insecure attachment style, so they will go for women with a secure style and suck that affection like a dying leech. If they feel insecure on a feature of life, such as class, they will seek a woman with the traits they lack e.g. they’re rude, they seek the meek and polite or the classic case of the ugly guy inside and out who thinks he’s entitled to hot women.
Look at the average PUA behaviour and realize those guys are for real. Was the cravat on an American not obvious? Their perception of beauty is warped to destruction, e.g. whereas people who like metal do like skulls, it’s like a roleplay. The psychopath pretends to like these things ironically to cover their death worship. Too much goth stuff without the music is a big flag. They tend to think of the music as ‘girly’, and yes, in their mind the worst thing a person can be is often female. Their insults veer misogynistic, 9/10. As a red flag, that is a good one.
They will always side with a criminal whatever the evidence e.g. recently we had a footballer charged with rape of a minor and he admitted it, his fans defended him as the victim. The more similar the criminal to them demographically, the more emotional they’ll get. This spirals into anger and domestic abuse over time, which they will deny to police and try to gaslight or defame the woman in the courts for daring correct him. They can’t stand being corrected (the narcissism) because they are Obnoxious Signalling Smart Person in the Room e.g. if you have to tell people your IQ, if they can’t tell already, it isn’t a valid IQ measure and you should be retested as an adult. Speaking of, intelligence is not IQ per se and intelligence is not a single number (it’s an academic thing, like an A+, it’s purely comparative to the sample). People over ~135 get this, it isn’t hard, it’s basic statistics. They normally say 160-170, despite how unlikely a person in that range would fail at life time and time again (psychopaths cannot commit but everything they try, they mess up) and fail to commit to anything, i.e. a job. The best job in the world, they’d get fired. A fun thing to do with this prick in a social setting is challenge them to prove it, forbid them a choice because that’s biased (framing lies), then watch their face drop as you pull up an IQ test question on your phone and watch them fail again, and again, and again, and again. They work themselves into a hissy fit explaining the test is wrong. Yes, the test is wrong, sure.
Spins emotion into ‘secret’ displays of logic (rationalization, wrong). No, this makes no sense, you aren’t imagining it.
They target sweet naive women who put up with their BS, mother figures who will baby them like a little boy, while resenting their own mother. They will tend to think the Madonna/Whore thing wasn’t a literary metaphor but rooted in fact…
Better to keep a distance and see how they treat other women. If they can’t have female friends or say it’s always the woman’s fault somehow, get out.
Best tactic is to hold off and deny them, if you frustrate them for a few weeks to months, they’ll move on. Better they think you’re boring than become a stalker. Playing dumb is their big weakness because they already think you’re dumber than them by default.
Gaslighting: crazy people project and call you crazy. Finishing move: say you should both go to a couples’ therapist (at the same time, so they can’t lie behind your back) and watch them back off and make excuses. If you were so crazy, they wouldn’t want to be with you. Common sense. Invite them to go or STFU about it, making deadlines triggers their panic button because they have a huge complex about abandonment (when they don’t deserve a relationship, being so selfish). They won’t leave because they need you, women fail to realize, so they’ll spend their manipulations trying to convince you the other way around, since they’re needy babies emotionally in a man’s body.
Some good ways to psychopath-proof yourself: Set firm boundaries and don’t let anyone cross them no matter how much he is guilting you; listen to your gut and don’t override your instincts out of an eagerness to please or to have your last chance at love; do not dismiss or minimize red flags such as lying, cheating or abusive behavior; do not take responsibility for someone else’s actions, even if that person is doing his best to blame you. And most importantly, realize you can’t change anyone, and that your mental, physical and emotional health is more important than keeping a relationship together no matter what.
If someone’s guilting you, shouldn’t that be a slight hint?
All that comes down to Don’t Be Desperate and leave if you aren’t happy.
The rule should be, why rush if it’s real? They’ll try and rush the process to hook you, they’re a very pathological r-type that feels smothered if they get you, it’s pretty funny with distance.
If you hear a sob story, any sob story from anyone ever, ask if they’re seeing a therapist and watch ’em flinch. Higher powers offend them. Although they do love misreading and misusing Freud as if he’s still relevant to the 21st Century. He was unfalsifiable (gaslighter’s preferred mode of argument). The SJWs also love Freud because he confirms their beliefs, Freud is generally a joke 9/10.
The Annual Meeting of the Association for Computational Linguistics in Beijing (AMACL) just released their findings that those who are“excessively polite” are considerably more likely to betray peers or comrades than those who are not effusively polite. The researchers at AMACL engaged in an in-depth study of Diplomacy, a strategy-oriented game in which players simulate pre-WWI Europe.
…As it turned out, there emerged rock-solid examples of betrayal that AMACL observed in their report. Perhaps most shockingly, the scientists discovered one of the most predictable signs of imminent backstabbing is sudden changes in conversational tone. Conversations would morph from average or uneventful to contain “patently evident positive sentiment, structured discourse and overt politeness”.
We always knew.
1. They Lack Empathy
2. They Lie All the Time
3. They Humiliate You in Front of People
4. They Crave Attention but Don’t Give Any
5. They Always Place the Blame on You
6. They Isolate You
7. They Blackmail You
8. They Never Show Remorse
Despite all of the bad things they do – and the frequency with which they hurt you – emotional psychopaths rarely show remorse. The words “I’m sorry” aren’t in their vocabulary, no matter the situation. In fact, they’re more likely to try and convince you that the problems in your relationship are your fault.
9. They Have a Sadistic Sense of Humor
Everyone has a different sense of humor, but emotional psychopaths are on their own level. They find humor in things that most people find unlawful or disgusting. While it may only seem strange at first, it evolves over time and becomes creepy and disturbing.
10. They are Extremely Charming at Times
And they wonder why they’re single.